In the beginning, it was so wierd to have so many different channels within my reach. I felt like this supreme television goddess and I would just sit and watch random things for hours on end. I could tell it when to record, what to show….It was more entertainment than what I’d previously been accustomed to. Now I’m a huge fan of many shows- Dexter, Californication, Swingtown (I’m so blogging about that show soon), Project Runway and Diary of a Call Girl are my favorites.  I’ve fallen victim to and now worship the big box in the living room. Never mind that currently the living room is also my bedroom (another story for another time), I’m hooked. I can’t imagine life without TV.

However, all of this television watching has really brought to my attention the amount of advertising that gets pumped into our brains on a daily basis, and to be quite frank- I’m uncomfortable with it. There are at least eight commercials in a commercial break, and they’re all selling something. They’re all just there to make you feel like you need something else. You need this lotion or gym membership to be attractive. If you advertise on this dating website you’ll find the man you’re going to marry. It’s sickening.

What if I have better things to worry about than whether or not I’m attractive? What if I just broke up with my fiance and you’re making me feel like crap? And it may seem like I’m making a big deal out of nothing, but each and every one of those ads is just another drop in the bucket about what I’m “supposed” to be. While I do worship the big box, I refuse to take orders from it. That’s just me.

It’s all just too 1982 for me. It gives me the same hives as when my mother tells me not to laugh when my two year old niece farts because she wants her to be a “lady”. Ladies don’t fart? Yeah- and they also don’t go poop. My mother also complains because my niece likes to play with trucks and that’s not a “girl” toy. People are who they are, and I think advertising and certain social norms tend to squash creativity and adventuresome-ness.

Advertising creates these norms, defines what the ideal is in a society, and these are organizations that are trying to sell a product. They don’t care about you, your children or your financial well being. All they care about is making money. People complain about the oil companies, but the thing is this- they made you think you needed them, and kept on inventing new products to get you hooked on it. Now, we can’t quit even though it’s costing us everything. It’s too ingrained, and there is some fat cat sitting there with his millions- no, billions- of dollars.

I am being a bit dramatic, but it’s the same point. I don’t think it’s wrong to buy popular products (although I think the 3G iPhone is the epitome of overrated and don’t get me started on the iPod), I just think it’s important to know who’s selling them.

This wasn’t really the first time I’d been in such a group, but it was the first time I’d been to one in Dallas, and I really wasn’t disappointed at all. There was the smell of incense as we went through a guided meditation, and then we learned the basic history of Reiki and received  our first of four levels. That first night I really walked out of there feeling changed, like something deep inside of me had moved.

I went to the subsequent classes and wound up learning a lot about myself. For instance-  I can meditate, where as before I had never really been able to (I’m highly ADD) and  I even enjoy it. This little sect in Dallas, which is just a little bit of this community in Dallas, truly provided me with a great deal of peace when I needed it the most.  Granted, I am a former massage therapist and knew what to expect, but I never knew that it even existed until I reached out to it.

I think one of the major problems in this society is that we’ve lost touch with ourselves. Between work and responsibilities, most of us barely have time for ourselves. We rush and rush and when we’re done we just veg out in front of the television or the computer. This has an adverse affect on our health- physical and mental,  and we aren’t allowing ourselves to heal from the stress of every day life. Sometimes we need to slow down- or even stop-  and just be.

The holistic healing community in this city reaches far and wide, and welcomes all people with open arms. Even if you think it’s a bunch of  nonsense, you should at least try it. You never know. Go to a lecture, take a class on something you’ve always been interested in (Accupressure, Aromatherapy, Reiki, Massage) , or just go and sit somewhere quiet and still with a bit of a breeze- and remember to breathe.

This has really been my lesson for this week, mostly due to a happy hour conversation I had with me, my friend The Irishman and his friend Abby. We were in a bar downtown at about 4:30 in the afternoon and started discussing Abby’s past relationships and the complete lack of available men in the DFW area. She was on her second drink in less than thirty minutes, and complaining that all the men she dated were alcoholics. I’m listening to this conversation and seeing a very obvious answer to her problem. She likes men who drink because she drinks, and some people who like to drink are alcoholics. It’s simple. The people you hang around, you hang around for a reason. It’s because you have common interests, values and goals.

Now, my mind wanders to the reverse. Can you become thinner or more successful simply by choosing thinner, more successful friends? Can you make yourself happier by hanging around happier people? Research tends to think so, and the more I talk to people about this subject, the more I agree. If you want to start working out- get a workout buddy that’s as serious about it as you are. You are made up of your environment. If you surround yourself with beautiful and healthy things, you will be a beautiful and healthy thing. I honestly think that this realization might change my outlook on things. I at least want to try it and see how it works. I’ll let you know how it goes.

I came across this book quite randomly at the library and picked it up because it had a cute cover and was written by the same guy who wrote “He’s Just Not That Into You”, and I really enjoyed that book. This book is about the entire process that occurs when you end a relationship. From the breakup itself to the bingeing, drinking, crying escapades that ensue afterward- this book covers it.

The book is written by Greg Behrendt and his wife, Amiira Ruotola-Behrendt, and is based very much on their experiences as well as the experiences of the anonymous people they use for anecdotes throughout the book. Many of the tales are funny, some are sad, and others are plain ridiculous. Whatever you are going through, there is a story in the book that can come close. There is always something to relate to.

One of the things that I really appreciated about this book is how they point out that just because things don’t work out in a relationship it doesn’t mean either of you is a bad person. Also, they provide helpful journaling exercises and many fill in the blank workbook-type activities to help you sort through your feelings. Their suggestions range from just plain smart (60 days without contact with your ex) to completely silly (re-arrange your furniture). However, in the end, it’s all about getting you back on track to be a better, more fabulous, single version of you. That way, as the book states, when the right person comes along you’ll be ready for them.

While I really enjoyed all the pep talking, at one point the lingo they use in the book got on my nerves. They talk about how you’re a “superfox”, and while I’m all for a self-esteem party and affirmations, I don’t like that word. By the end of the book I was cringing every time they said it- literally- teeth-on-edge-if-you-say-that-again-I’ll-stab-you-with-a-spork annoying. But besides that part, I really enjoyed this book. It made me feel better about myself, and I’m not even going through a breakup. It just reminds you that YOUR life is about YOU. It’s self-empowering, nurturing and even somewhat indulgent to read this book, and I highly recommend it.

A variety of people are employed at my place of business, but most of them tend to be anti-social eccentrics who keep to themselves. They laugh at inappropriate times and have no clue what to say to you in the elevator. They live alone and don’t really talk to people and tend to be in their late 40’s. Being in my mid-twenties and fairly social, I tend to stand out. But I really like this job because I can come in hung over with green hair and a paint covered t-shirt, sweats and fuzzy slippers and no one even looks at me funny (yes, this was an actual outfit.) I will admit that I’m a slacker, and the ability to be one and still work is the most appealing part of this job. God forbid I work somewhere I actually have to dress up- or wear shoes.

My boss is very nice - probably too nice for her own good. She tends to be very non-confrontational about things, and would rather not offend anyone than say what she really thinks. This works out for me, because I’m passive aggressive. When she instituted the no-cell phone rule, it was because I had spent almost an entire day running out of the office with my phone so I could talk to various people about my evening plans. I’m at least a little surprised that I haven’t been fired yet, but I’m decent at what I do. Or not. Like I said, she is very, very non-confrontational.

To be quite honest, it would probably be in my best interest to look for a position doing something I’m more interested in. But I don’t think they have a position for a wanna-be gypsy, or professional tequila drinker, or serial procrastinator. But if they do have that kind of a position available, you should totally pencil me in. 

The best part about riding the bus has always been the fact that I can usually distract myself until I get where I need to go. I can read a book, listen to headphones and generally satisfy my ADD. However, the people watching is simply amazing. I’ve seen some of the funniest things on the train. For example, this one time there was a woman who was yelling loudly into the phone at her child about stealing pot from her stash- it had all the anger my mother would rage upon me- and yet, I wasn’t the one in trouble.

Listening to other people’s parents yelling at them is downright exhilarating (despite being a fully grown woman, my mother still yells at me. Maybe it’s the rampant alcoholism or the lack of a grandchild. I’ll never know.) Also, there are all the drunk people. Like the guy who insisted a blind woman was only walking her dog and that there was no way it was a seeing eye dog. He was very angry that he couldn’t move the dog over so that he could take a seat, which to people who drive cars sounds completely ludicrous- but not so much in the world of mass transit.
    
Of course, I usually claim to be a rampant environmentalist so that they don’t smell the poverty, but I’m not even very good at that. I use plastic bags (paper is too hard to carry) and use single serving everything. Still, I can’t help but feel a twinge of happiness when I don’t have to spend money on insurance, gas or maintenance. The only time it’s really inconvenient is if I want to leave the city or go somewhere very late at night or on a holiday.

Also, I don’t appear to be good dating material when people ask me on dates and I have to explain why they need to come and pick me up. Not that I get asked out on that many dates- but the homeless guys on the bus love me. There is a weird aspect of sitting next to someone and having a small conversation that is appealing, because if it gets really uncomfortable you can always just get off the train. Not that I’ve ever dated anyone I met on mass transit, but I’ve made a few friends that I only see on the bus, and I’ve even received relatively good advice from them. I never followed it, but that’s just because I’m hard headed and don’t take advice well.
    
All in all, the bus works for me because it is cheap and easy. Do I sometimes wish I had a vehicle? Yes. Will I one day have one? Almost certainly so. In the meantime, I really do enjoy all that mass transit offers.