I have to work that late because the college is open and we need the coverage. If I want time off at Christmas, I have to sacrifice. Yes, I would rather only have to drive three hours as opposed to four to Woodville. No, I don’t mind skipping out on seeing my classmates get drunk. Not to mention by the time I got off work, went home, and then drove to Woodville, it would be at least midnight and I would be exhausted. I have no idea how long I’m staying. I need to talk to my other boss to determine when he needs me to be back.

This time of year always brings a certain amount of stress. In my case it isn’t a financial crisis as much as it is a time crisis. The holidays always put me on edge because it is the time of year where I have to juggle my family and my real life and it usually isn’t pretty. I think it is an issue with many people, and it is a common affliction amongst people who have moved away from home, have children or are in a relationship. We have a limited amount of time, and we are being ripped in many directions.

I know some people look at me and they just think “well there is one of her, she has no children and she lives three hours from her parents…so what” and admittedly, it does look like it I have it pretty easy . However, looks can be deceiving. Of course it is preferred that I drive home on Wednesday night, but as I said before I work until 7. I can’t just leave from work because I have 5 birds my parents want to see. That means I have o drive home, load them up and then leave. I work two other jobs. One is from home, but the other is a DJ job at night. I know he *wants* me to be back for the Friday night show, but I’ll probably stay until Saturday. At least this year there is no significant other involved to have to play the are we doing Thanksgiving together…if so where game with. Even before Thanksgiving is over, the Christmas questions will start. The getting there by Christmas Eve services isn’t an issue, but the how long will I stay question will be the heavy hitter.

Of course, you want to see your family (well in most cases), and you really do not want to hurt anybodys feelings. Still trying to juggle your time around the holidays can be maddening. Yes it is the holidays and you want to work to make everyone happy, but how is that fair if you are miserable the whole time. It isn’t just your family either. What do you say when your full time employer wants to have a Holiday party downtown until 8:00, but you have to be at your other job on the other side of town at 9:00. Oh and don’t forget about your poor dog Spot who really needs left out before you go to your second job. Common sense says just go to the work party and then leave a little early. In many cases, this will solve it. Yes, it might be a tight, but can be workable. It might not be ideal, but if you make a little sacrifice and ENJOY yourself at the party while you can, it is worth it.

That is how most of the time crunch things work. You do things you don’t like, work to compromise with your friends and family, enjoy the time with your loved ones and friends, and keep positive. When you clash with your mom about only being home for a day because you have to drive another 8 hours to your fiancé’s grandmother’s house, don’t flip out. Stay calm and take the emotion out of the argument when you state your case. Yes there will be chaos and I can’t promise that it will be drama free, but keep focused on the happy things and you will be much better for it.

]]> http://www.culturefeast.com/stressed-for-the-holidays/feed/ http://www.culturefeast.com/shake-off-complacency-this-memorial-day/ http://www.culturefeast.com/shake-off-complacency-this-memorial-day/#comments Sat, 24 May 2008 14:19:34 +0000 Nicholas Johnson http://www.culturefeast.com/?p=940 As Memorial Day nears, I have come to the realization that I have committed the unwritten 8th deadly sin – complacency. I have become so wrapped up in the rising prices of food and gas, how many TV channels I can get, and how many carbs are in the 3 burritos and 4 soft tacos from Taco Bueno that I just ate. This makes it very easy to forget that there is still a war going on. We have been at war so long, we're starting to creep into Vietnam territory.

It has become commonplace to turn on the television, hear about the attacks and death toll, and not even be phased. Why? Because we, as a society, have become complacent. We walk through our behemoth open-air malls buying useless crap, sipping coffee in the middle of the summer, and drive our air polluting vehicles without stopping to think about all of the men and women that are overseas protecting our right to do so.

For those that know me, I’m not the most patriotic American. In fact, I’m probably near the other end of that scale. I’m a numbers guy and sticking to that means that I don’t always take the most popular (or patriotic) side of arguments. Regardless of my personal philosophy of patriotism, war, and just about everything else; I’m still willing to stand up and give credit where credit is due.

I was recently contacted by Chris from Heroes 4 Heroes. H4H is a Dallas based non-profit organization that distributes care packages to the men and women in the U.S. Armed Forces. The care packages are primarily filled with comic books, but they also include CDs, DVDs, Books, and Magazines. Spend a little time checking out the website. They, by far, have the coolest fundraiser I have ever seen. I may be a little bit biased due to my love of comic books and comic art. The funny thing about Chris’ email, he wasn’t asking me to do anything for him. He wasn’t asking for me to rally the troops and put a fundraiser together, or break out my checkbook. His only request was that I  mention H4H so that people knew that they could go to the website and send a friend or family member a care package.

It is that kind of altruism that has generally been missing from our daily lives. It is for that very reason that I am writing this in hopes of rallying the troops. I am calling on all of you to take a moment to click the link to their DONATIONS page. There are multiple options and ways that you can contribute.

The simplest, least time consuming, and versatile is the paypal option. Money is the universal lube for every machine. It is also the best way to tell the guys at H4H that you trust them to make the best decisions for how to appropriate their resources. It’s also tax deductible. Now if you’re like me, cash is in short supply. So you have other opportunities to give. Go through your CDs, DVDs, Comics, and other literature. If you’ve already loaded all of your CDs into iTunes, then you don’t need the hard copy.

With the holiday weekend, this gives you a great opportunity to do some spring cleaning, create a tax deduction, and be a patriot. It’s just *that* easy. Remember: complacency is a sin and freedom isn't free. Do your part. Support a cause, any cause. And have a safe Memorial Day weekend.

The biggest New Year's Eve Party in the country is brought to you by New Year's Nation. More than 8,000 party goers are expected to join in the nationwide festivities. This party covers eight cities in four time zones, and the venues for each city are top notch. 

Visit the website to learn about THE New York New Year's Eve Party of the year. The average person attending will be a young professional in their 20s or 30s. Participating cities include New York, Boston, Philadelphia, Dallas, Detroit, Denver, Seattle, and Los Angeles. Follow the link provided to learn more about the New Year's Eve Party in LA. 

If you live in the Dallas area, and you're looking for THE PLACE TO BE this New Year's Eve, join New Year's Nation at the Ivy Lounge in downtown Dallas between 9pm and 2am. Hilary Kennedy from the television show "Hot on Homes" will be hosting the local event. 

No matter which city you live in, visit the website and learn more about venue, dress code, menu, and VIP options. And get ready for a party! 

Do we? Will you maintain this attitude of generosity and appreciation,
charity and love, smiling, happiness and joy?  Helping around the house to
clean up, being nice to the kids, being tolerant of your family. Was that
just a facade? Or will you continue to be this person that you have been
over the holiday season?

The Christmas Holiday season is especially special because so many people
become selfless and do things for others rather than themselves. And so they
sort of become another person, a better person. A person that exhibits
patience, understanding and selflessness. Is there a reason why this has to
change, if not then why does it? Hmmmm?

Well the reasoning really is not important but the change is. Joy is a
wonderful thing and you can be joyous as often as you please. It is not
limited to any season or any reason. If you had fun and smiled a lot and
enjoyed friends and family, hold on to that joy, embrace it and let it
embrace you. Let the goodness that has come out of you this holiday season
remain with you always. There is something great about a person’s character
that exhibits, consideration, patience and selfless, because your actions
reflect that life is not always about you, and that….is a wonderful thing.

As the New Year approaches do not lose sight of what you have become, the
season is here now and will soon pass however your graciousness,
appreciation and respect for others does not have to pass with it.  Hold on
to who you have become, for all seasons. Do not let your humble spirit and
attitude fade as the season passes.

Your attitude is your outwardly appearance to the world. Be the best you for
all seasons and you will see how your attitude affects others in a positive
light. Let your good spirit shine from you like the sun and you will see
good things grow all around you. Seeds of joy will soon grow to flowers of
happiness and smiles.

Smiling is good we should smile as often as possible as if everyday was
Christmas. Don’t you think?

Happy Thursday!

Christ, family, loved ones, friends... that is what this holiday is about, right?

It appears that we as a culture have gotten away from appreciating true love for what is and have equated that love with what and how many presents and gifts we receive. This time of year is a time to recognize the ones you love and care for in many ways. Not just with toys and clothes and money, but with time, respect, appreciation, love and adoration.

Give more, love more, hug more, and kiss more. Take this time to show the ones you care for that they are worth more than what is given... that love is not defined by what is received, but by what is felt in the heart. If communication is bad with your spouse, take this time to let him/her know that he/she is worth more to you than what he/she thinks. If you are having problems with your children, take this time to tell them that you appreciate them and that you will work harder to understand them and
establish a better relationship with them.

This is a special time. Love is the air, take advantage of it. Smile as often as possible, if not for any other reason, let it simply be because YOU FEEL LIKE IT!

This is a magical time that comes around only once a year! Don't ruin it for yourself by being GREEDY and upset because you did not get something you wanted or you felt you deserved. This season is really about giving, not
receiving. Christmas is not about YOU, it is about YOU DOING for others.

There is always something to give even if you don’t have money. Love is the
most powerful force on earth and that is one of the main ingredients that
make up this holiday season, LOVE!

So don’t sell yourself short by expecting and being greedy. Be more than that!  Give time, love and positive energy. Smile, laugh and share good tidings with friends, family, loved ones and those that are less fortunate and have no one. Sometimes time spent can be the most valuable gift you can
give. We all complain about not have enough of it, so that in itself makes
it valuable. Time that is.

This is a time to love the ones you love.

Take advantage of this special time and Holiday Season to show how much love
you have to give.

Merry Tidings and Happy Holidays,

- Anthony Neil Moss

You can't have Christmas without a tree, so if you haven’t put yours up yet, you should check out Christmas in the Country in Flower Mound, even if you have a fake tree (like I do some years). This is good family fun and plenty of stuff for the kids to do including sleigh rides and both complimentary hot chocolate and cider.

Shopping 

If you can't stand going to the mall to shop, here are some alternate choices: you can find just about any thing you need at Target, especially if you're a young family with or without kids. Barnes and Noble, I've discovered, is always a good choice if you are shopping for parents, grandparents, and siblings. If you want good deals on CDs, DVDs, and video games, there is a place off of Cooper Street in South Arlington by the Parks Mall called Entertainmart - really good prices. If you are looking for something really special for your wife, you should try Diamond Wholesale Exchange in Addison.

Now this is going to sound really strange: if you want to buy perfume or cologne, a really smart place to shop is Albertsons (the grocery store). They usually carry all the name brands for about half the price. Another good place to shop that has a lot of everything including a wide selection on name brand clothes and isn’t in the mall is Kohl’s.

If you’re a big fan of coffee (which I am not but my wife is), you should try Starbucks Christmas Blend. Starbucks is also an ideal place to buy small gifts for friends and family.

Activities and Events 

If you have kids between toddler and teenage, you should try Six Flags Holiday in the Park. I did this when I was a kid and it was a blast! My brother took my kids to Holiday in the Park recently and they had a great time. Tickets are $29.99. Parking is extra. If you want something a little more sophisticated, Bass Performance Hall in Fort Worth will have several performances including "The Nutcracker" and "A Christmas Carol". Prices and schedule vary. Casa Manana will also have some exciting shows, including "Frosty the Snowman" and "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory". Handel’s "Messiah" will be at the Meyerson Symphony Center December 2nd at 7pm.

Something I am definitely going to do this year is pack up the family, put some hot chocolate in spill-proof containers, get in the truck, listen to 103.7fm (Christmas music) and check out some Christmas lights. For the best Christmas lights communities, visit Grand Prairie, Dallas, and Arlington.

Movies

In theaters this holiday season: Fred Clause, starring Vince Vaughn and Paul Giamatti; Mr. Magoriums Wonder Emporium, starring Natalie Portman and Dustin Hoffman; Enchanted by Walt Disney, starring Amy Adams and Patrick Dempsey; Thomas Kinkade's The Christmas Cottage, starring Peter O' Toole, opens November 30th; Alvin and the Chimpmunks, starring Jason Lee, opens December 15th; The Golden Compass, starring Nicole Kidman, is now showing - I was originally excited when I saw the trailer for this film, but am not sure if it's something I want to endorse. Please be careful if you plan on taking your children to see this, or even if you are seeing it as an adult. Click here to find out more. 

Restaurants 

Before or after your movie, here's a list of cozy places I like to visit during the holiday season.

Le Madeline – French Bakery with a fireplace. Great for a date night and a place where you can pick up some small unique gifts. Cracker Barrel – Notthing upscale, of course, but some good 'ol country cooking. Family environment and another place where you can pick up some unique gifts
Carrabbas- Italian grill. Great food, great ambiance, nice place to eat in December. Perfect for a date night
Simply Fondue - Although time consuming, it makes for a nice dinner in December.

Around the house

Spending time with the family is one of the things I enjoy most about Christmas. Red wine is something I really enjoy while watching Christmas movies and snacking on my favorite foods. Every year I order summer sausage and cheeses from Hickory Farms. If you’re burnt out on the same old Christmas movies (It’s a Wonderful Life and A Christmas Story), here are some movies that have become tradition at my hous: Home Alone, starring Mcullay Culkin and Joe Pesci; Die Hard, starring Bruce Willis; Step Mom, starring Julia Roberts and Susan Sarandon; The Family Man, starring Nicolas Cage; The Polar Express, starring Tom Hanks; Narnia; The Nativity Story; Planes Trains and Automobiles, Steve Martin.

Music 

Here are some fresh options on Christmas Music:

"Sounds of the Season" by Enya
"Winter Song" by Sara Mclachlan
"Christmas Songs" by Jars of Clay
"A Christmas Celebration" by Celtic Woman

That covers it for now. If you have any other ideas I forgot to mention, feel free to chime in. Part of the fun is sharing our favorite things. Happy Holidays!!!!!!!!

I am destined to smell good this year. Common gifts I received from family members this years were colognes and Barnes & Noble gift cards. Apparently I need to both groom and educate myself better.

We enjoyed some good eats while we were there. The main holiday dish this year was beef brisket, and it was good! We also hit up a sandwich shop called McAllisters (not sure about spelling) near UCO that makes a killer reuben sandwich. Last night we tried The Cheesecake Factory for the first time. Wow. It was awesome. I’m not a huge cheesecake fan, but the Tiramisu was slammin’.

Perhaps the best parts of the time we spent with the family were the personal and homemade gifts a few people gave. My wife made an excellent gift for my grandparents. Needless to say, I don’t think a single female in the house made it through the gift giving process without shedding at least a few tears. It was one of our best Christmases ever.

We’re getting ready right now to go visit Heather’s sister. I am beginning to love the holidays more and more.

A few couples including my grandparents (Howard and Judy Dessinger), David and Caroline Shorter, and Russ and Christy Hemati have gone a step further by writing a Christmas letter. I love the Christmas letter. A year-end summary tells me what I’ve missed, and reminds me why even great distances cannot keep me from caring.

In light of the heartwarming effect Christmas letters have on me, I am inspired to write my own. Most of our friends and family don’t spend much time on the Internet, much less reading blogs like this. In order to keep in touch with most of the people we love, emails and/or conventional letters are still more successful.

So this year, we will send out our first family Christmas letter. It’s exciting to begin traditions, especially if you can recognize them as such from the beginning. It is a husband’s privilege to feel he has contributed to the formation of traditions within his family.

I am grateful, and pleased to know that many years from now, we will have a tradition in place which will be treasured for years to come by friends, family, and our children.

Cyber Monday is the first Monday after Thanksgiving when internet retailers do their best to woo businessmen and women into purchasing big ticket items with special discounts and sales. Cyber Monday has been a disappointment to Internet retailers until now. The online shopping industry has matured to the degree that a good portion of Americans are now comfortable buying most anything online. It took years to build this sense of stability in the general public, but repetition has finally paid off.

I don't agree with the blind avoidance and condemnation of all things non-biblical. Blind, unquestioned doctrine is what causes religious splintering and cults to grow. God gave us minds to use, not to waste. I cannot blanketly label some acts sin unless they are called such in Scripture. At the same time, I do not give myself free license to do all the hundreds and thousands of things not mentioned as sin in Scripture strictly because they are not listed. For one, technology is not what it once was, so there are infinitely more choices each person must face on a daily basis. Halloween is not one of those things I feel 100% concerned about.

Honestly, I don't celebrate it. I also don't have kids, which my best friend insists will completely transform my opinion of the holiday. Maybe. Or maybe he just means that it's hard to say no to one's children when all the other kids are dressing up in cool costumes and getting free candy. Even so, I doubt I will celebrate Halloween simply because of the fact that it is at least partly a celebration of horror, death, and fear. Honestly, I'm not a big holiday person. I hate the commercialism driving our society's famous celebrations.

Whoever chose the Valentine's Day colors has no sense of taste, and did not understand or care that the popularization of such a holiday would reduce gift giving to a shame-based obligation (i.e. only bad boyfriends/husbands don't give gifts on this day). Christmas is little better. Santa Claus is a famous figure because he instills gift-lust in all children, young and old. Persistent begging leads to parental resignation, thus equalling increased spending. Not only is the time of greatest annual greed, someone thought it was worth lying to children about the existence of this mythical character just to induce them to be good (i.e. capitalizing on poor parenting skills). Thanksgiving should be renamed Gluttons Day (or Dallas Cowboys Day). This holiday at least centers around giving thanks, so I must commend it for being the least self-centered (at least originally).

Then there's Halloween. All Saints Day (November 1st) is historically the day where Roman Catholics Episcopalians, and Lutherans used to honor all saints, whether known or unknown. The Irish, Scotts, Welsh, and others celebrated the eve of All Saints and called it Samhain, Calan Gaeaf, Allantide, or Hop-tu-Naa. This was a druidic celebration, thought to be a time of year when spirits could make contact with the physical world. Magic was also considered the most potent on this day. Those are the roots of Halloween.

True, you don't hear so much about these roots in our commercialized American Halloween celebrations. But you still see the influence. It is still the day where people celebrate misery, death, disfigurement, decay, horror, darkness and fear. Some dress up in nice pretty costumes or something more artistic, but it is, in a sense, the day of Horror film celebration. Do I condemn little children for wanting to wear cool costumes and get free candy? Not in the least. Do I consider it a waste of a holiday? Absolutely. I plan on creating family holidays for my children whereby they learn to appreciate and celebrate life. Costumes included.

The outside wasn't hideous, mind you. No, it was just plain, bare, and altogether uninteresting. I had not realized how uninteresting until I noticed how many neighbors were suddenly waving as they passed by. Apparently we were doing something to our yard which they highly approved of. I took the glass half full point of view and took it as a compliment to our choice of shrubs and plants. Rainy weather couldn't stop us!

We were green machines. We stared down severe thunderstorms without flinching a muscle or twitching an eyelid. We were fearless. We were courageous. We were fierce. We were really stinkin' tired. I mean TIRED!!! Have you ever taken an axe and tried to hack thick tree roots out of your way? Luckily, I only broke one shovel and cut two fingers throughout the process. Considering the conditions and strength of our opponent, those were acceptable casualties.

Nah... It wasn't a battle. Well, it was in a way. But it was more like an adventure. I discovered Calloway's, a paradise of flowers, shrubs, trees, and vines. I wanted to buy everything - well, everything that suits my taste (i.e., not girly looking flowers or your traditional boring perennial greenery). I would have spent much more had my wife not been present and ready to smite me with a spade. Who knew that I, the guy who rarely even cares to go outside, would find a nursery to be so delightful? I will discuss some of our new plants when I have photos to post.

Another of my favorite memories was the Brondby futbol game. They played Parma, an Italian club. I've never felt such passion and ferver at a sporting event. I was on edge a few times at the stadium. It carried an atmosphere of lawlessness. Fights could break out at any minute and there wasn't sufficient crowd control or police nearby. It just felt like anything could happen. The ride home from the game was a treat. We took the train. Our cab was filled with drunk Danes, singing the "Bronby we love you!" song and jumping up and down until the entire cab teetered from end to end.

I did miss out on a wonderful fine arts opportunity because of that soccer game. I can't remember what was showing, but it must have been a musical or opera. I made my final decision based upon one criteria: to learn as much as possible about the Danish culture. That tipped the scales in favor of futbol. No contest. For anyone thinking of visiting Copenhagen, Arhus, Holstebro, Skagen, Odense, or Esbjerg, I absolutely recommend visiting in the summer or very early fall. The amount of daylight is incredible during that time of the year and the weather is as good as it gets for Denmark. Fall brings showers like no other.

It is true that Denmark has lovely Christmas traditions that last an entire month, but those don't do you any good unless you have friends or family there. All the feasting, dancing, food, and drink is shared between friends and sometimes neighbors. All things considered, take advantage of the weather, the light, and the only real cheerfulness you'll find in the country during the summer months.

I didn't have the most wonderful time in Copenhagen and Albertslund, but they are the only places in the world outside of the United States where I could visit and know where everything is. The only other place on earth like that would be Vieques - the tiny island beside Puerto Rico where Heather and I were married.

I'm not referring to a slight sensation of fullness. Oh no. I'm talkin' about the full-fledged uncomfortable, loosen the jeans, and beg for mercy kind of full. It could take days to feel normal again, and it's not even Christmas yet. It doesn't look good for the home team.

What have I managed to consume? Three massive crabcakes, french fries, bread, chips & queso, egg nog, and Dr. Pepper. Doesn't sound too bad, right? Well, considering that I hadn't eaten a whole meal in a day or so, it really wasn't. Before the evening meal, I so famished that I ate the available tartar sauce without a chance of fish anywhere in sight. Bread was eventually served, and the rest was history.

Let me take this uncomfortably vulnerable moment to welcome all of you back to the CultureFeast blog. My name is Daniel Dessinger, and I'm the impetus behind this madness. The wonderful thing about blogs is that you don't have to use the same voice each time you post. One entry could be thoughtful while the next drips with sarcasm. The very next could be a professional entry discussing my SEO copywriting or interactive press release writing services (nice plug!).

This holiday season, I hope to share with you the real inner workings of the holiday season - a play-by-play, if you will, of the mindnumbing eccentricities of our family's celebration. But if that post doesn't make it to your screen, don't worry...

...it just might be too bizarre for words....

...and if not, it just means that I'm lazy.