If I had a dollar for every person I've met who has yet to grasp this concept, I'd be rich. Why do self-absorbed people never understand this simple lesson? I'm going to spell it out for you in simple English so you won't miss it this time:

Stop always talking about yourself!

Okay, now for some elaboration. You're not off the hook yet. This includes all of you who may not talk about yourself, but you're only interested in the conversation because someone else is talking about you. If they discuss themselves for very long at all, your mind wanders and you wish the conversation was over.

Here's a tip: Grow up!

Some people actually believe that they are very popular because the people they speak to are less selfish. Sorry, but you're somehow taking their kindness and unselfishness and assuming that they don't have a dozen other topics as interesting or more than you that they fail to mention. Well, if they have so much of importance to say, why do they always talk about me? Hmmm.... Well, the obvious reason is that you hung the moon.

Right.

Interpersonal Relationship Tip #1: Engage the other person on whatever level they are capable. Start by discussing the other person. If and when they appear comfortable discussing other things for any length of time, feel free to follow their lead. At times, it will be necessary to prod someone out into unfamiliar waters because without some help they're going to stay put forever.

How do you know which type of person you are? It's simple, really. Does the conversation revolve around you or the other person? There you go. If you don't regularly express interest in other people's lives, you are the weaker one in the relationship (don't freak out, guys - this includes any level of knowing another person).

This post comes from years of being the person who always asks dozens of personal questions about other people in an attempt to get people to talk. It's great to know people, so don't think that I'm complaining for all the information I've received. Far from it. But there comes a point when you realize that after all the effort you've put into knowing someone, they've never reciprocated interest. They still know you only on the levels which you engage them.

At some point, we call these people leeches. They feed off the attention of others who are willing to get to know them. But they're uncomfortable allowing someone else to receive positive attention, so they either stick with selfish topics or they lash out in resentment. Some people already know that they fall into this category, but feel powerless to change. Others don't care to change. Still others are unaware, or refuse to become aware, and they choose instead to make others feel stupid when the conversation ceases to revolve around them.

There are two types of bodies of water: flowing and stagnant. People very closing resemble these two types. Stagnant water becomes a swamp: rotting, infested with insects and mold. Flowing water remains fresh and healthier to drink. People who absorb all the attention and conversation are a swamp. They start to stink after a while.

Think about it. Even if you're too proud to overtly acknowledge the point, maybe there's someone in your life you'd rather not lose to your own selfishness. It's worth considering.

Popularity: 6% [?]

As the best man in Aaron and Stacy's wedding, I offered this toast (speech) at the wedding reception:

"Despite the cynicism that weighs down so many men and women of our generation, I am convinced that a man and a woman can, and most definitely should, enjoy a lifetime of love in marriage. Our generation has not bought into the sugar-coated, fairy tale version of marriage sold by the media from previous generations.

We are men and women determined to find the REAL, to live the REAL, and to grow old together still insisting upon the REAL. This marriage between Aaron and Stacy is a picture of our own lives. Aaron is the "slightly" older, worn and weary version of us. Stacy is the youth, the amazing energy, and the promise of a future the Aaron in each of us so desperately needs.

This marriage joins man and woman, young and slightly less young. I have known Aaron for 12 or 13 years, and I have walked with him through some of his happiest mmoments in life, and also some of his most difficult. And through those 12 years of friendship, there are a few things I can say about Aaron with certainty:

First, he values sincere communication more than most men, and he pulls off being real and sincere without seeming less masculine.

Second, he has an uncommon sense of decorative style, which makes me wonder how he pulls this off without seeming less masculine.

Third, he desires to be a good father, and will do anything and everything in his power to make sure his children know that they are loved.

Fourth, he desperately needs Stacy in his life to be that wellspring of energy and vitality that draws out of him many amazing character traits which still lie dormant (everyone laughs)... I wasn't joking (everyone laughs some more).

Fifth, He taught me what it means to be a loyal friend. I learned from Aaron what it means to demand loyalty of oneself even when it is inconvenient.

Lastly, he has a God-ordained calling upon his life which he may or may not have yet understood, but through his union with Stacy he will understand in time as they continue on the path set before them.

It does my heart good to see Aaron find a woman who possesses the willingness to embrace the pursuit of the path and the life God has called them both to.

I do not know a great many things about God. Despite my years of asking and pondering, He is still largely a mystery. But if there is one thing I can say that I know about God, it is that loving and receiving love appear to be much more important to Him than merely following a set of rules. And if there is one thing every man should know in his heart, it is that at the end of the day, a man who lets his guard down and looks his beautiful wife in the eye without emotional protection is worth ten men who perform all the right daily rituals and husbandly tasks so they can check off their "to do" lists from a safe emotional distance.

No marriage will ever be easy. Let's be real. Nothing on the face of this earth is more difficult than maintaining a healthy, romantic, and intimate marriage.

But since we're being real, let's not forget that nothing else in our lifetime will ever possess the fragrant hope and opportunity for REAL companionship, REAL intimacy, and REAL fulfillment.

Aaron and Stacy, if nothing else, I challenge you to demand of yourselves to be REAL. Real in pain. Real in joy. Real, even in heartache or offense. And always pursuing a fresh, new way to maintain soft and vulnerable hearts... in other words, real in love.

May your lives be filled with this soft, scary, thrilling, unnerving, and ultimately liberating kind of love. May you find in each other the companion who captivates your heart, challenges your faith, and satisfies the God-given ache to never be alone again.

To the bride and groom!!!!

Popularity: 5% [?]

Just when I thought the evening was winding down, Heather tells me there is one more card for me to read. It was after 9pm, and I had been thinking about how cool it would be to end the day with a late night movie. Turns out, that’s exactly what she had planned! We headed back toward NRH for a late night showing of The Fountain, starring Hugh Jackman and Rachel Weisz. The movie was great, though I’m still trying to figure it out. A lot of symbolism and mysticism involved. All in all, It was an excellent day. Heather put a lot of thought into making it unique and special to us. Of course, I got to enjoy the surprises, but she really enjoyed putting it together and experiencing my response to every surprise. This day definitely makes it into our hall of fame.

Popularity: 5% [?]

After a good 2 hour nap, we groomed ourselves fastidiously for the next event. The next card was dessert at Old Hickory Steakhouse in Grapevine. Located inside The Gaylord Texan, this steakhouse is where Heather and I spent our 1 year anniversary. It was great to return 2 years later and enjoy amazing desserts and champagne. Their lemon cannelloni won the award for best dessert in DFW for 2004. Mmmmm…..

Popularity: 5% [?]

We ate our favorite deli sandwiches - The Reuben - and headed home for a nap. The next card was postponed because of the weather. She had planned for her mom to meet us at a park in Southlake or Colleyville and take some photos of us. It was too cold and we were tired anyway, so we headed home for a nap.

Popularity: 3% [?]

I opened my next card to discover that we were on our way to the movies!!!! We went to see Deja Vu, one of the films I’ve been wanting to see most for months! The movie was great, and it was time for the next card! The opened card gave me directions to eat on Grapevine Highway. I followed the directions, trying to figure out which place we were going to. Turns out they built a new McAllisters Deli by the Hometown Starbucks!!!! That deli has been our favorite up in Edmond, Oklahoma for almost a year. Heather rocks!

Popularity: 3% [?]

As we wrapped up our time at Target, I found a pair of sunglasses I had to have while Heather searched for earrings.

On to the next phase!!!

Popularity: 3% [?]