Over time, I accumulated more games (some would call “girly” I would argue them to be unisex): Tetris, Kirby’s Adventure, Yoshi’s Cookie and even Doctor Mario. I hated any game that did not stimulate my mind like Tetris and Yoshi’s Cookie did, and Kirby’s Adventure was just fun to play.

Unlike me, my cousins received the Sega Genesis system with Sonic the Hedgehog and Ecco, that lovable dolphin. Sure, it was a nice change from playing Tetris all the time, but I could not abandon my NES. I was happy playing Duck Hunt incorrectly, with the piece held flush against the television because I had a terrible shot. I was happy never getting anywhere near completing Super Mario Bros. and dying the instant I started the game.

A few years after receiving the NES, another Christmas brought another gaming system, Game Boy. I thought that I was the coolest kid for getting that tiny piece of technology. It wasn’t in colour, but I didn’t care, I had my Tetris and I was the happiest kid in the world.

Fast-forward to present day, I still have my NES and Game Boy, and they are in perfect working condition (yes, even the gun for Duck Hunt). I brought my NES with me to university and again in college, and everybody who came over went absolutely nuts when they saw I had the system (and Duck Hunt). Houseguests could not be peeled away from the system if their life depended on it. It was a nice trip down memory lane for everybody.

But that is the problem, my NES and Game Boy are retro… obsolete. Today, games are no longer made for those systems because everyone is fixated on Wii, DS, Xbox, PlayStation, etc. While all of my friends were upgrading, I was left behind in the dust as I played my retro system. Each time a new Nintendo system came out, I would ask for it, but never got it and I was told that the ones I had were enough. As my friends were playing The Legend of Zelda or Mortal Kombat, I was clearing levels with Kirby on his adventure.

A few months ago, my best friend’s dad bought a Nintendo DS Lite, and now her family has a few in their home. My friend was raving about all the retro games that are available online to download, and all the great games that are available for the system. “You should totally get one,” she told me, but I was happy without one. However, over time, I saw how entertaining the games were, and the television commercials for some of the games were pretty convincing.

This past Sunday, I caved in. I went to the store, laid down my money, and bought a DS Lite. The whole ride home I kept thinking about how I made a mistake and was abandoning my retro roots. “The Game Boy is still fine,” I thought to myself, “it still works, I just turned it on the other day.” The moment the battery was charged in the DS, and a game went into the system, I was hooked. I went out the next day and bought more games, one of them being Tetris (I am keeping a little bit of the retro, don’t worry).

I know that it will take getting used to, I mean, I have never had to use four buttons, let along a touch wand (seriously, what are X and Y for anyway?). Moving into the future with the rest of the world was a bit of a struggle, but I am managing. Besides, if I want to take a trip down memory lane, I know that I can because my old systems are in perfect working order. Plus if anyone wants a serious game of Tetris, I’m game!

I’m not writing to convince you that video and other social media has taken hold of the web. You’d basically be living under a rock if you disagreed. So with that said, on to my point. I want a new HD video recorder but I don’t want to pay HD prices.

For those of you who follow my online life, you know I film the Moxie Mo Show and I love embedding video that I record onto my blog as well as other sites such as YouTube and Vimeo. I got a Flip Ultra Video Recorder for Christmas this past year and it has literally transformed my once “text only” life into a social media conundrum. What should I use to produce the best content? Can my SD videos keep an audience glued when everyone and their dog has HD? And is HD video really better than SD video? Well, I’m no expert, but I definitely agree that HD is absolutely purer and easier to watch and is just so fun to have.

So that leaves me with no answer to my puzzling question. How can I be in the “big leagues” when I don’t have the “big league” income or power that Robert Scoble or Cali Lewis or even iJustine have? And yes, I already know that just having HD will not put you into the big leagues. I realize it’s the content and what you have to say to the world that matters. But HD has got to help that a bit, no? Thus, I write you, CultureFeast readers, and ask, “is there an affordable HD Video Recorder that has worked wonders for you?”

Without getting all technical, all I really want to use it for is to record my podcast as well as my typical life events: birthdays, parties, my dog Deco and well… me! I could care less if it’s the highest resolution and has all the neatest and latest tricks. I just want one that is easy to hold, easy to shoot and easy to transfer to my Macbook where I then can work my editing magic.

So, do any of you have a suggestion? I do not want to spend more than $500 tops. I just read in one of my RSS Feeds that some major manufacturer will be releasing a new HD Video Recorder for $400 but for the life of me I can’t remember which company is making this little gem. Leave me a comment in the notes if you have any suggestions, advice or anything I should stay away from!

Now, it’s no secret to my family that I’m the technical one. I love the internet, social networking, gadgets and thanks to December 31st, 2007, I’m a true Apple Addict since purchasing my first Macbook. I brought all of my tech-goodness on this trip. After all, I own a blog, I produce the Moxie Mo Show and I must be connected to all my friends across the globe via Twitter and Plurk. So yes, I was prepared to have a wonderful, relaxing vacation all the while being totally connected to my technological “geekness” and internet addictions.

So why didn’t I think to check if the condo “next to the beach” which we rented was internet connected? Why? If I only I would have thought this out, I could have even bought a USB powered wifi card through my own cellular carrier, plugged it into my Mac and voila, I’m connected! But no, I went to Florida thinking “it’s 2008, all places have wifi or an internet connection.”

Drum roll please… my iPhone came to me as if to say “Jeff, no worries, friend. I may be a year old and I’m not 3G, but I sure know how to connect you to the world.” And hence, the next 7 days weren’t completely lost. My iPhone connected me with a beautiful browsing experience as well as allowed me to tweet my heart out with items of “got stung by a jellyfish and had a shark swim right past me, no joke” as well as “on the beach, friends! Where are you?”

The main reason my iPhone saved me was because of iPhone 2.0 firmware. We already know all about it, I realize. But God Bless Apple with the App Store. It truly has changed the way people connect, socialize and gain their “geekness” in this world. The 12 hour drive back to Dallas was brutal, but no worry, I had Super Monkeyball to play and I could tweet with Twinkle. I was able to google the term “sand fleas” and know that I sure don’t want those when I’m frolicking in the sand. And last, but definitely not least, I was able to email and tweet pictures of pure heavenly bliss to share with all my friends who had to suffer being at their jobs in the 104 degree heat. Long live the iPhone!

The biggest news in the last few days has been the new iPhone 2.0 firmware that was pushed out for all iPhone users. In essence, this firmware update was for the 3G so that it would work properly and add more benefits. Thankfully, Apple was smart in that they decided everyone should have these benefits, not just the new iPhone folks. With that said, this new firmware has basically changed the “1.0 iPhone” to a new masterpiece thanks to the addition of 3rd party apps from “The App Store.”

So lets say, though, you’re really wanting a faster speed so that’s why you’re considering the new iPhone. According to reputable sources, the 3G is twice as fast than the old iPhone when browsing via cellular and almost as fast as being connected to Wi-Fi. That, in itself, could be a reason to purchase a new phone. But did you also realize that AT&T’s 3G coverage isn’t the best? Check out this map of AT&T’s 3G network. Sadly you’ll see there’s not much blue which may make “smaller city” folks blue that they bought it. The second benefit for getting the new iPhone is a way more advanced GPS that literally “blips” on the map as you walk down the street. That may be cool, but is it worth $199 cool? That I still don’t know.

Other than that, there’s really no difference between the “1.0 iPhone” and the 3G iPhone. We both have the new firmware so in essence, one is faster than the other, when you’re browsing the internet away from home or work. In my opinion, the real saving grace for the argument to get a new 3G (considering you have the “old” one) is as long as you’re eligible for an upgrade, the price of $199 really isn’t too bad. There’s no way I’d be thinking about this if the iPhone was originally priced back in 2007.

So, lets hear from you. Those of you, like me, who are still on the fence about getting the 3G, list your reasons why you’re waiting. Those of you who’ve already taken the plunge, tell me why I shouldn’t be on the fence.

I like my social networking sites like MySpace and Facebook. I loved photobucket, my I-pod and my digital camera, but that is as far as it went.  A couple years ago I really began on focusing  getting my life on track. It was time to put the past to rest and focus on what I wanted. That brought two factors into my life: New Friend and Launching my freelance company.

First my friends came into the picture. Suddenly I went from never texting to texting more than I was talking on my phone. At first, I still really resisted. I worked hard not to cave, but before long texting and picture mail became common place. Of course then I was kicking myself for not buying the  texting package with my phone plan when the bill came to my inbox. I was hooked.

As I began to launch my business, I started to see how my desktop just wasn’t getting the job done. I needed something portable, with more bells and whistles, and that was more conducive to my needs as a writer. When my desktop started to die, it seemed like the perfect excuse to get a laptop. The old unit was going to die out any day, and it was a good cost choice. Pretty soon though it became apparent that my motives weren’t as basic as I had thought they were. I just couldn’t imagine my life before my laptop, or how I managed to make my business work at all before it was in my life. It cut down on the hassle and the stress tremendously.

Soon my business was growing. I found myself texting more and more. I started using more and more social networking sites, and I began taking on more and more jobs. My full time job, teaching, karaokeing and writing schedules were starting to get hectic. I wanted to be able to keep track of my schedule, text, check my e-mail, get online, and even micro blog on Twitter while on the go. I upgraded to the unlimited everything plan, but my bare bones basic phone just wasn’t working for me. Pretty soon, I was considering crossing to the darkside and getting a smartphone. Yes, and not just any smartphone…but a Blackberry.

When I upgraded my plan, I looked at the Pearl. I wasn’t eligible for an upgrade another four months, so buying on from the Sprint store was totally unreasonable. As I left the store, I was appalled with myself. How on earth could I even consider buying one of those totally overrated wastes of money? It was just a status symbol that killed people’s social skills right? I was over it, until a few days later. I made the mistake of looking on craigslist…and there it was: A posting for a new Pearl for $100. I e-mailed the guy, and I was sure someone had already snatched it up. I was wrong. Next thing I know, I own a Blackberry.  I had it activated, my contacts transferred over, and the next think I know I am on www.crackberry.com downloading ring tones.  A week later, I am totally addicted.

The question remains: Have I totally sold out, or am I really just doing what is best for my business? Right now, I’m still in the honeymoon period and I don’t really care. I get to run your own business, you have to have the tools, but will I regret taking the plunge?

I’ve never been a gamer. That being said, I can say that EA’s Spore Creature Creator was a marketing campaign success. Why? Take people like me, for example. I like to blog, surf the net and get my social networking on. I don’t play games, but I couldn’t help but be interested after hearing several friends on Twitter talk about their newly created Spore. EA even held contests with “web celebs” such as iJustine, Phil DeFranco and Veronica Belmont to see whose Spore Creature Creator was the best creation.  It generated tons of buzz.

So I found myself quickly downloading the free trial and within an hour, there I was, the proud dad of a Spore.  The free download allows you to create your own Spore but it has very limited options.  You can video your Spore walking around, howling, growling and even dancing.  You can then take that video and upload it to YouTube and share it with your friends. The full software, once it’s released, will allow users to create creatures and watch them evolve, develop and play with other creatures from multi-users.

EA got it right, in my opinion. They created a successful buzz about Spore, which will fully be released September 7th, 2008. So, my readers, did you create your Spore? If so, tell us about it!

In truth, he could just pay me money and I could go buy an iPhone. But that's not as exciting. When you're dealing with denominations that small, I have very little incentive. But barter for techno goods and you're on, buddy!

I've yet to decide whether I'll write enough article topics/titles for an 8GB or a 16GB iPhone. Probably depends on my level of continued inspiration.

I may very well get a barrage of emails from people asking me to do small jobs now. That's okay. I still want/need a few gadgets. Here's a brief list:

1. 180 GB+ slim external hard drive

2. a top of the line Apple Macbook Pro 

3. a Spot GPS Locator

4. a Texas Instruments Speak & Spell (for my daughter)

5. a 24-inch 3.06 Ghz iMac

6. the best camcorder that records to an internal hard drive (flash drive?) 

Okay, the list was shorter than I expected. I'm not much of a gadget guy in truth. I don't really want to do any more side work (keeping up with a six month old is enough!), but this is my wishlist. If you need blog consulting, linkbait consulting, etc., hit me up quick before I have everything I want.  

As you know with my earlier iPhone post, I'm very excited about the upcoming announcement regarding the new iPhone.  However, I would be ignorant to think that iPhone's next-generation 3G phone is going to be the only one on the market.  Blackberry Bold has consistently kept it's users happy by continually upgrading it's 9000 series so that it can be a strong contender with Apple.  I thought it may be interesting to compare the two and then let you, the reader, make a decision on which one is going to take the market.

In order to do this, we must all agree that no one knows for sure what exactly iPhone 2.0 will be.  Rumors are continually swirling that it will be 3G and have an integrated GPS inside.  Others say that it will be a bit slimmer and offer more functionality than its predecessor.  For more information on next week's upcoming announcements by Apple, click here.  So, just for argument's sake, lets agree that the new iPhone will have 3G and GPS.  How does the Blackberry Bold stand up to it?

Apple and Blackberry have both announced their new models will have GPS inserted into the handheld which will be an amazing and wonderful piece of functionality.  They both will have a strong integration with Active Exchange so that businesses can and will begin to take them seriously from an enterprise standpoint.  I think it's fair to say that Blackberry has consistently met this challenge and is still one of the most popular phones used in business today.  However, the new iPhone is rumored to have better synchronization for Microsoft's Exchange which may mean iPhone begins pulling its weight in the enterprise world and will begin being taken seriously.

The iPhone dominated its competition in regards to music, video, photos and other "multimedia" which is why it became one of the most successful phones ever in history.  The iPhone's web browser is one that can't be beat with it's awesome HTML capabilities, fast bandwidth (when on Wifi), and an ever-so-easy browser (Safari).  Blackberry realized their mistake in a "not-so-fancy" HTML browser and has thus completely changed their capabilities with the Blackberry Bold 9000 series.  It has an awesome web browser, rich multimedia and a powerful 2 megapixel camera.  Blackberry has successfully reached the bar that Apple set with the iPhone.  But is it a little too late?

The iPhone's major setback is that it currently only works on AT&T (unless your illegally jailbreak it) which will obviously keep some away.  The Blackberry can be used on most all the major cellular networks.  The Blackberry Bold also has "real keys" while the iPhone has an industry-changing user interface with 3.5 inch multi-touch display.  Apple got it right with this multi-touch display as no other phone had this technology until the iPhone came out.  Both the Blackberry Bold and the new iPhone will have 3G which will transform the way users do business and personal browsing/uploading/downloading and multimedia.

Now, in my opinion (which keep in mind, I'm a consumer, not an expert), who will win?  Personally, I will have to give the winning call to Apple.  The Blackberry Bold is a serious contender but it still lacks things that the iPhone delivers.  The iPhone is synonymous with multimedia.  It's an iPod (and I still haven't seen any other phone competitor do the iPod justice), it's a desktop web browser and it's also a powerful mini computer.  It works fantastically with the Apple TV and other Apple products.  The 3rd party applications that Apple will soon be releasing via it's App Store is also a sure way to beat its competition.  We're holding our breath in anticipation to see what the iPhone can do next once these applications get released.  It truly will change the iPhone for the better.

So what are your thoughts?  Do you think the new iPhone will stamp out its competition?  Do you think Blackberry's Bold will beat iPhone?  Leave your thoughts in the comment section below!

According to Engadget, the 3G iPhone will also be cheaper than the original iPhone's price when it first launched.  The new iPhone will also have proper GPS capability installed in the phone.  The new generation phone is also supposed to support advanced IM and MMS features.  Several sources have also confirmed that testing has already been complete and therefor the release of the next generation iPhone is imminent.

Now, my blogging friends, what do you think?  If Apple releases their next generation iPhone in June or July, are you interested in buying it?  If you don't have an iPhone currently, does this next generation release make you want one?  And if the price is supposedly cheaper than the 1st generation iPhone, does this make a difference in buying one?

For those of us who are in love with the iPhone already, we have more reasons for joy when the WWDC comes around.  New applications will be released, through iTunes, that will finally make our 1st generation iPhones even better than previously imagined. 

I'd love to hear your thoughts, Culture Feast readers!.  Will you be purchasing a next generation iPhone whenever it gets released?  Please take a few seconds to voice your opinion in the comments.

The tech culture and blog culture in particular demands that you be on the razors edge if you want to keep up.  But what is the result of following all this minutiae? What is the price we pay for our semi-omniscience?  These are some of the questions that I have been asking myself this weekend. 

We live in a time unlike any other.  Today there is more information at our fingertips than we could ever possibly absorb, with more and more of the stuff being created every day at a furious rate.  The floodgate has been opened, and now it’s not only the academia and the published author who can make their mark on the face of society, but you and I.

All of this increased access leads inevitably to an increased interest in the minutia of life.  We now have the ability to dig very deeply into very specific topics, and then to dig even deeper.   What ramifications does this increasingly microscopic view have on our ability to connect with the big issues?  I want to share with you some results of this mindset that I see at work in our culture already.  The first thing I would like to bring to your attention is our shrinking attention span. 

We flit from one trend to the next, rarely sticking with anything for long.  We channel surf so fast that the blurring light could induce seizures, and we get impatient when our fast food isn’t prepared by the time we finish paying.  This continual need to be stimulated is ruining our ability to really delve into the issues of our time.  

As a culture, we’re losing the ability to look inward, and to remember what we see. We’re too busy reacting to the latest fad.  Another detrimental effect of this minutia culture is that we seem to be losing touch with each other.  We have dug ourselves so deeply into our sub subcultures that we are splintering along hundreds of thousands of cultural fault lines. 

It used to be in school the nerds didn’t hang out with the jocks.  Now the nerds don’t hang out with the jocks, the preps, the Goths, the Skaters, or the punk kids.  So each successive generation appears to be self isolating into an ever more specific subculture.  Within that subculture, everyone agrees with everyone else’s view of the world.  If history tells us anything, it’s that intelligent debate is what makes individuals and societies great, not universal agreement.  

All of this postulation is not to say that we should limit technology, or that our ability to have so much knowledge access is a bad thing. It is not.  It’s a fantastic thing, and this increasing access to information and data will absolutely change the face of our planet.  These thoughts are merely meant to encourage us all to think about the power that such a culture has to shape us.  We need to be the conscious directors of our destiny, not allowing information overload to shape us into isolated, over stimulated individuals, but instead using information to forge a future beyond belief.  

Here’s the concept, call a 1 866 number, tell the automated voice system you want to post to WordPress, and then start talking, clearly. In about two minutes it’ll show up as a post under your author name on your blog with a link for users to listen to your post. It’s that slick. Total setup time is about 15 minutes and there are some things you can do to set it up further. Don’t like texting into twitter all the time? It can update your twitter account too as well as a host of other online utilities.

Here’s a brief tutorial on how to set it up for your WordPress Blog:

- Go to http://www.jott.com and set up an account, it’s free and quick

- Enter in your info and agree to the terms of service

- Verify your email address

- Enter your phone number (you can add more numbers later)

- Call 1 866 JOTT-123 and it will activate your phone with your Jott account and start you on your first jott, to yourself.

- Go to the “Links” page in your Jott account and add WordPress

- Fill out the info for your blog and blog author and hit “Save”

- Now call 1 866 JOTT-123 and say “WordPress” when it asks you “Who do you want toJott?” Then Start your message.

Remember to speak clearly and in a place without a lot of background noise. Jott does a good job of picking out the right words but it’s a good idea to check the posts when you get back in front of the comp.

There's a ton of usage with this web utility and voice posts to WordPress blogs is just the tip of the iceberg. I'd love to hear about how you're using it.

How does someone, presumably, only 10 years younger than me not know what cassette tapes are? At first I wanted to cry, but then I decided to just write about it. In doing so, I came up with a list of things that my daughter (and yet to be conceived other children) will probably never know about.

Records / 8 tracks/ Cassettes

I have at various times had fairly decent record and cassette tape collections. The highlight of my record collection was a pristine copy of “The Beatles” (commonly known as “The White Album”). I was proud of my Smiths/Morrissey record collection that I amassed prior to Ebay’s inception. That was a hell of a feat that could probably be accomplished within minutes via Ebay today.

I’ll confess. I barely remember 8 tracks. My uncle had a Toyota Cressida that had an 8 track player back around 1986, but didn’t own any actual 8 track tapes. I did buy a box of 8 tracks at 1st Monday a few years back and then I spent the rest of the day trying to find an 8 track player to no avail. I ended up selling the 8 tracks on Ebay. Considering that the entire box of 20 or so 8 tracks cost me $5 and I made over $300 after fees and shipping, I’d say that I was probably better off having not found anything to play them on.

My tape collection had many highlights, for their time. I had all of the late 80’s/early 90’s rap and R&B tapes. Including, but not limited to: Third Bass, Big Daddy Kane, Bobby Brown (which I traded INXS’ “Kick” for), and Bell Biv Devoe (Ironically, I traded a Poison tape for a tape with the song “Poison” on it.) My favorite of all of my tapes was the Beastie Boys’ “Licensed to Ill” that Heath Herman* (name changed) and I ended up splitting the cost of. The idea was that we would share the tape and alternate weeks. Needless to say, I dubbed him a copy and he got to live with that. We were never really friends after that. I blame it on him. He wanted us to buy Salt N Pepa’s “Hot, Cool, & Vicious”.

8mm / BetaMax / Laser Disks

I never owned any of these. Most of them were made obsolete before they ever became affordable for my mom to buy. Actually, laser disks had a time when they were incredibly affordable. It was after Sony stopped making laser disk players. Sound Warehouse (the music chain in most malls throughout the 80’s and 90’s) had tons of the disks that they couldn’t give away. The most prized laser disks were the various “movies” put out by Playboy. My favorite was “Wet n Wild 4”. I tried to buy it 3 different times. The sales clerks would never go for it. Not that it mattered, I didn’t own a laser disk player to watch it.

***Special Note*** VHS isn’t that far off. Pretty soon, VHS tapes will be relegated solely to the 25 cent bins at thrift stores and swap meets. They will be right next to the HD-DVD’s that nobody can play on their BluRay players.

Fruit Flavored Candy that Doesn’t have Blue-Raspberry

It used to be that there were 3 fruit candy flavors: cherry, grape, and banana. That was it. Occasionally, the candy manufacturers gave us mixed fruit, but we all knew it was just cherry and grape mixed together. We didn’t have blue-raspberry. On that note, what is blue-raspberry? Blue-raspberries don’t grow naturally in the wild. It’s not a combination of blue berry and raspberry or a milder blackberry. This is the worst candy flavor ever. It sucks and it’s only good for turning your tongue and teeth a lovely shade of blue. At least when cherry turned your tongue red, it looked fairly normal.

Atari / Nintendo

When I was in the 4th grade (1987-1988), Atari was on it’s way out and Nintendo was just starting to declare it’s video game dominance. I’m not sure if anyone remembers, but Atari was making a big push with their $50 crapbox. I begged my mother for one, because I didn’t think we could afford the $100 Nintendo Entertainment System (NES). I even wrote Santa a letter explaining why I wanted an Atari, even though Steven Hipple’s* (name not changed) NES was much, much better. In a twist of sweet irony, I ended up getting a NES from Santa. This ultimately led to what will now, and forever, be known as the “Super Mario Brothers 2 Betrayal”. It was the 5th grade equivalent of the U.S. Civil War and its effects still linger. It was one of the contributing factors of why I didn’t go to my 10 year high school reunion.

$2 Bills

After a funny incident at Starbuck’s over me trying to pass a “fake” $2 bill, I have realized that people under 25 yrs old don’t know what they are. Ok, let me rephrase that: If you are under 25 and have never worked as a “dancer”, you *probably* don’t know what a $2 bill is. The same goes for the half dollar coins. That is unless your grandmother has given you one from the stockpile that grandmothers keep in their purse. I don’t give the penny much longer either. Slowly, lesser used monetary denominations are being phased out and will soon be relegated to the realm of collectors and dumbasses that place too much value on currency that is becoming more and more worthless every day.

This reminds me of when I was bartending a few years back. I was chatting with my early afternoon crowd between the Jeopardy and the Double Jeopardy rounds (This was back when Jeopardy came on at 3pm on WFAA). We were discussing the newest state quarter. I think it was Michigan, but don’t quote me on that. A “gentleman” who had already had a few shots yells out, “HEY! Can you imagine how much a collection of all 50 state quarters is going to be worth?” In which I promptly, and pompously, responded “YEAH! $12.50!”

A Funny Robin Williams and Eddie Murphy

Maybe I’m just getting old and my memory is starting to fade, but I’m pretty sure that both Robin Williams and Eddie Murphy used to be funny. I can remember watching stand-up specials of Williams and Murphy from the early 80’s. Sure, I spent most of the time with my index fingers inserted into my ears, at my parent’s request. Lucky for me, I still have enough of my memories that I am able to remember that these two guys were, at one time, funny

My poor daughter only knows both of them as the guys that were in such craptastic movies as RV and NORBIT. Luckily, she is young enough to still find that crap funny.

Maybe one day after she turns 21, we’ll break out my VHS dubs of Eddie Murphy’s RAW and Robin Williams’ A NIGHT AT THE MET. Both are legendary.

Here are some my favorite American journalists who rarely fail to amaze me with their wit and erudition, powerful prose, and clarity of thought.

Peggy Noonan

She writes for the Wall Street Journal. Her Friday columns is a must reading for me. She used to be Ronald Reagan’s speechwriter. A devout Catholic and a committed Republican that I trust, despite the fact that I’m neither.

Her recent comments on Hillary Clinton’s turbulent candidacy should be enough to give you a sense of her depth and brilliance as a political commentator:

“She'll need more than four years to shake off the impression she made in 2008. And this is how you'll know she's making another bid for the presidency. She will wear skirts. Gone will be the pantsuits that made her look like a small blond man with breasts. It's the new me, I wear skirts! Her first impulse is to think cosmetically. A long and weary life in politics has left her thinking this is the way to think.”

Rex Reed

Friends, Rex Reed can write movie reviews like nobody's business. His New York Observer columns are honest and generous in dishing out both praise and punishment.

If you are in the receiving end of his accolades, you don’t need to die to go to Heaven.

Just makes sure you don’t get caught behind that red cape of excuses as his thousand pounds of linguistic fury is launched against your latest movie fiasco or acting shame.

REED HEAVEN: “Without a stick of makeup, in off-the-rack clothes and hair that needs a steam iron, Halle Berry is still the epitome of beauty and grace. But it is Benicio Del Toro who shocks and enthralls. This character actor with pasty skin, bags under the eyes the size of teacups, and a face like a map of the San Jacinto Valley is always deeply committed, astonishing to look at and full of surprises, but in Things We Lost in the Fire he is a total revelation.”

REED HELL: “Everything seems designed to please and fascinate 10-to-12-year-old girls without encouraging stress or premature hormones, and I see no reason why this harmless trend should end now. But nothing I have come across even begins to sink to the amateurish, rock-bottom, brain-dead bilge Warners has dusted off in the corny, boring and sleep-inducing 2007-style escapades of Nancy Drew redux, called, unimaginatively enough, Nancy Drew. I know this junk is marketed for pulsating pubescents, but why? That’s the only mystery in it worth solving.” [Review of Nancy Drew]

Warren Brown

Warren Brown is proof positive that you can write about ANYTHING you want and can still bring beauty and grace to our lives IF, that is, you actually know how to write well.

Mr. Brown continues to brighten my days with his Washington Post automobile reviews; not that I’m a car nut. Far from it.

But I can’t help enjoying the obvious affection with which he approaches all devices reaching a hundred miles on four wheels, and the social and cultural layers with which he qualifies his reviews. He is a master wordsmith at work, worth emulating.

A sample:

[Describing the control buttons on a BMW 325Ci]: “The entire choreography — for it is nothing short of that — takes place in less than 60 seconds. It is technology as haiku, drudgery transformed into ballet.”

Continues: “The 325Ci thus is the perfect guilt-free car for enjoying and living contradictions — pursuing clear skies and fresh air in a gasoline-powered chariot, enjoying the open spaces paved with concrete and asphalt, and obeying posted speed limits in a car, even with its smallish 184-horsepower engine, designed to shatter them in seconds.

Life is good.”

Frank Deford

My favorite sports writer, hailing from Sports Illustrated and NPR every week.

Usually Deford is so right, so to the point, that I end up wondering how come I couldn’t think of such an “obvious” point myself, on my own.

If clarity of thought was his only strength, Deford could’ve been a mathematician too. But the man has his artistic side as well, as evidenced by his many best-seller novels.

Deford is one of my favorite writers for generating prose like the following:

[About Beijing Olympics]: “The reflected heat from the torch uproar will also help expose what a humbug the International Olympic Committee can be. This is the organization that loves to call itself a "movement." Come on, would we accept it at face value if Commissioner Bud Selig stood up and crowed about the "Major League Baseball Movement"? Would we bow our heads if Mayor Oscar Goodman asked us to pay homage to the "Las Vegas Strip Movement"? Get serious.”

[On Mixed Martial Arts]: “Boxing is the only major sport where the object is to hurt your opponent. Surely there can be no place for such an exercise in a more enlightened 21st century. But what has happened? Boxing has indeed lost favor, not because it's too violent for the modern civilized world, but because it's not violent enough.

Boxing is being superseded by what is called the mixed martial arts — emphasis on martial — which apparently is especially attractive because it's like a video game, only featuring flesh-and-blood human beings. Emphasis on blood.”