Famous for Nothing or Famous for Nothing Special??
Posted on 02 February 2008 by Nicholas Johnson
I spend a large portion of my workday behind a computer, which means that I spend a large portion of my day looking at the internet. I think I now know why so many people are so wrapped up in the everyday goings-on of celebrities and athletes and dare I say it….people that are famous for nothing. My conclusion is that people love to stare at a train wreck*. And by train wreck, I mean the disgustingly fabulous lifestyle of our celebrities.
It really doesn’t matter what content filled site you visit (I usually start with MSN.com because it kinda looks like I could be working when I’m looking at it), but it doesn’t really matter which one you go to. They ALL know that they are pushing a product that we have become junkies for. My favorite site that does this is CNN.com. Yes, the website for CNN (The Cable News Network). They are fairly good about providing you with breaking news and tons of political coverage (Read Michael’s blog post if you didn’t get a chance - The Importance of Voting) yet they sprinkle in the celebrity angeldust by the handful. Maybe I’m in the minority, but I just don’t consider anything involving Britney Spears, Brangelina, or Paris Hilton newsworthy.
Let’s take a moment to review all of them.
First off…..Britney Spears. Here’s her life in a blurb: She was born, went on Star Search, landed a role on the Mickey Mouse Club, started putting out saccharin soaked pop music, dated Justin Timberlake (and there was absolutely NO SEX), married the guy from Seinfeld for about 45 minutes, married Vanilla Ice Jr., got fat and had kids (or vice versa), totally reverted back her trailer park* heritage, got divorced, and has pretty much gone off of the deep end’s deep end.
NEXT! Mrs. Brangelina Jolie-Pitt. She is the daughter of Jon Voight and he got his big break in a Pringles commercial. They both made some movies. She married a guy that was a senior when her dad was a freshman. He ragged out Gwyneth Paltrow and then married Ms. All-America Jennifer Aniston. The 2 of them started mixing it up on the set of MR. & MRS. SMITH (check the toilet for my copy of the DVD). They moved in together and started collecting kids like they were original MIB (mint-in-box for all you non-nerds) G.I. JOEs.
Paris Hilton. Paris. Whitney. Hilton. Born into wealth and “starred” in a sextape. That’s all I’ve got. At least she ended up in her sextape because of Mr. Pam Anderson (at least for the next 5 minutes) leaking the footage and didn’t go the Kim Kardashian route.
Now that I have revisited all of these celebrity entities…..I can start to see why we have such a fascination with them. How else can we vicariously live such F*&%ed up lives? And who hasn’t at one point in their lives uttered the following statement: “I know my life is screwed up, but at least it’s not as bad as _______ (fill in the blank, you can pick any of the afore mentioned celebs or pick your own)”?
Oh and did I mention that I am a member of all of those celebrities fan clubs?
*I apologize if I have offended anybody who may have been in an actual train wreck or live in a trailer home.
- Nicholas Johnson
former professional daredevil
Popularity: 6% [?]
February 2nd, 2008 at 2:45 pm
I love the fact that you mentioned that Britney and Justin NEVER had sex. I don’t know about a lot of other women, but if given the opportunity, I would be seriously disappointed in myself if I DIDN’T have sex with Justin Timberlake. I mean the man is the embodiment of sex appeal.
And the “senior when her dad was a freshman” line for Angelina, priceless, as was the G.I. Joe line
I do have to disagree with you on one part though: I actually enjoyed Mr. & Mrs. Smith.
February 3rd, 2008 at 11:16 pm
LEAVE BRITANY ALONE!!!!! =)
February 4th, 2008 at 8:08 am
You tell her to leave me alone
February 4th, 2008 at 8:24 am
You tell her to leave me alone FIRST
February 4th, 2008 at 9:17 pm
The interest must be watching someone else skirm out of their own holes. I catch myself flipping through the channels and stopping on such “news” pieces but I also collect books about serial killers, listen to classical music, create gourmet desserts and procrastinate scrubbing my floors….sooo I wonder if that means anything.