By Daniel Dessinger
December 17, 2008
If years of watching awful Christmas TV specials has taught me anything, it’s be thankful for what you have. Be thankful for your life and friends. Strive to be a better person so some angel can get her wings. These hackneyed messages are so cliché this time of year that they are easy to ignore. But recently, I was figuratively hit smack dab in the head with what being thankful really means.
I have a freelance gig writing articles for my local paper. The paper has something called the Empty Stocking Fund which gives money and gifts to those less-fortunate. My assignment is to write about some of the recipients and how they got into the position they are in. To help me write their stories, I’m given their applications, which gives a small history of what each person or family is going through.
Being a “heartless conservative”, I’ve always considered the majority of the needy are there because of their choices. When you choose to abuse drugs or alcohol, don’t be surprised when you find yourself homeless. When you prostitute yourself, you’re not going to run into quality-type people. When you choose to drop out of high school, you can’t expect to make a decent living. Yeah, I always knew that the poor have always been with us, and for those cases, I give as generously as I can to charities.
But the other day, after I wrote about six or seven articles, I had to stop what I was doing and just sit and take everything in. I was struck by a feeling of sadness and gratefulness at the same time. At first I thought, I’m so damned lucky. My family and I are all healthy. My children weren’t born with any defects. My husband and I don’t have any diseases. I have a nice house and I don’t worry about paying my bills. Sure, our cars, “Old Blue” and “Beater”, are 10 and 11-years old, but they are paid off, and still running reliably.
A lot of the people I wrote about have children who are sick. One single mother lived with her folks and her three-year-old has congestive heart failure. She can’t work because the child can’t be exposed to germs in daycare. Another family was dealing with a child with Marfan syndrome. Another had a child with severe arthritis. All these families know too well about navigating the bureaucratic nightmare of getting Medicaid coverage. Some don’t have private insurance and some have it, but coverage is very limited.
Other families are trying to get on their feet after something devastating. One mother I talked to was homeless after escaping an abusive situation. She works over sixty hours a week but is frustrated because even though she works so hard, she still just barely pays the bills.
Many of the families work, and the thing nearly all of them had in common was that they hated asking for help. They hated being put in the position where they had to go to an organization for money or their children wouldn’t have any Christmas.
This year, I urge everyone to really look around. Be thankful for what you have and really be thankful for your health and the health of your loved ones. Don’t concentrate on what you don’t have or focus on the things you want. And most importantly, give a little of what you have to a local charity that works with the poor.
© 2008 – 2010, Daniel Dessinger. All rights reserved.
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My first child was born shortly before Christmas. As her due date arrived I found myself thinking of those children with cleft-palates, worrying that something might be wrong even though I had a very healthy pregnancy. At that moment I made a deal with myself and with God. If my baby came out okay I would make a difference in the life of a child that had not been so fortunate. I know it’s not a great plan from a theological perspective, but it held real significance for me. My daughter was born perfect. Ten fingers, ten toes and beautiful rosy red lips. The first year I kept my promise by paying for an operation for a child with a cleft palate through Operation Smile. This year, as my daughter opens her Christmas presents another child will be enjoying a hot meal (with many more to come) on our dime. It’s the gift I enjoy giving most each year.
Poor people don’t *choose* to be poor.
Those with drug habits or prostituting themselves do so because it’s only way they can cope with the crushing helplessness of their situation, or earn enough to try and get out of the gutter. They’re not in the gutter because of them. [otherwise, how would all those coked up stick brokers still be rich?]
I’m glad you’ve had a sniff of reality, and realised that most of these people are not there by choice, but because life has screwed them over…and you know what. ‘Life’ looks a lot like your fellow conservatives and their attitudes towards health insurance and medic-aid.
God has damn all to do with it, so to heck with your piety.