On Men and Cologne

I furtively watched the young woman out of the corner of my eye at the dentist’s office, all while pretending to be engrossed in my People magazine. She was looking through a high fashion periodical and had proceeded to crack open the fragrance strip of a perfume ad and rub it on her neck and wrists.

I’ve often encountered the aftermath of such an incident. Who hasn’t thumbed through a well-read magazine in a waiting room only to come across a dog-eared fragrance ad that smells faintly like its former self? However, this was the first time I’d seen someone do this in public.

Witnessing this brought something to mind. Recently, when my husband and I went shopping together, he went into one store (Radio Shack or Sears-a guy’s store) while I went into an Ulta, which sells make up, hair care products and about any kind of fragrance you can imagine for men and women. My husband later caught up to me as I had my eyes closed and basked in the aroma of Bulgari for men. I handed him the bottle. “Here, smell this,” I said.

I love it when men wear cologne. There are some fragrances out there that are designed to appeal to either a man or a woman, and I don’t care for those at all. I like the ones with a very definite masculine scent. There are certain brands out there that I like more than others, but some really have a positive effect on me. They make me perk up and feel friendlier.

Over the years of our marriage, I’ve tried to convince my husband to wear cologne for me. I mean, after all, who doesn’t want to feel perky and friendly when your honey is around? He’ll humor me and agree to do this. But this never lasts long. What will happen is he’ll only put it on when he’s feeling amorous and is trying to seduce me. Which I don’t mind, but I’d like for him to wear it at other times, too.

He says he doesn’t like to wear cologne because it makes him feel self-conscious at work. And I’ve heard of other men not wearing it for the same reason. In fact, right now, I personally do not know any man who wears any kind of fragrance. Then again, all the men I know are married. I guess they feel that now that they are off the market, they don’t have to put up with such nonsense.

That wasn’t the case when I was in college and all the men I knew were single and about every other guy I knew wore cologne. To this day, I can’t stand the smell of Drakkar or Polo because I associate it with alcohol and jerks at frat parties.

After I handed the bottle of Bulgari to my husband, he sniffed, nodded and said, “I’ll wear it for you, if you want me to.” I raised my eyebrow at him and put the container back on the shelf. “Yeah. We’ve been down this road before. I want you to wear it all the time, not just on certain occasions.” He just scrunched up his face, said, “Ugh,” and walked off. I guess I’ll have to satisfy my pheromone fix by visiting perfume counters or walking in the wake of metrosexuals.

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