(Photo courtesy of Wikipedia Commons)
Tip 1: Vary Your Sentence Length
One sure way to put your readers to sleep is to write with constant-length sentences. Change the length for a better copy.
SHORT SENTENCE Copy:
"Times are bad. Economy's tanking. Latest figures are not good. Government published a report. It confirms the rumors. We're in a recession."
LONG SENTENCE Copy:
"We are going through some turbulent times these days. Our economy, which is supposed to be doing well according to some indicators, is showing strains of high unemployment and the effects of the sub-prime mortgage crisis. The latest figures quoted in leading industry journals and publications do not instill confidence in analysts and consumers alike. The Department of Commerce has just published a White Paper citing several Wall Street observers who claimed that we are nowhere near the end of this current impasse. Whether we like to admit it or not, the facts are staring us in the face: we seem to be sliding headlong into a recession the likes of which have not been since the '30s." (more…)
i saw horrible things, my dear horribly wasted innocent babies
your stomach would turn eyes would bleed and hearts would swell
we live in a beautiful world choose your glances carefully
shrivelled grass and skin blow in the wind like torn pages
life is but a dream, they say tortured by bandits & penniless drifters
neon markets and cannibals’ songs whispers carried softly upon stale breath Â
some day your voice will mature having lived many more years having shed many more tears. you will know more about yourself. you will have earned the right to have something to say. when the days of testosterone madness and crazed manic proclamations have gone the way of the dodo… perhaps a small book could be squeezed from your veins. there’s a reason why God gave the elderly less energy wisdom doesn’t run after every hair-brained scheme less foolishness requires less energy sit and ponder awhile stop, rest from your doing and just be be who you are. no tinsel, no gawdy things to make you feel so special. sit in silence and know your God. having done this, awkwardly at first, then, if you truly commit, you will be ready to write.
my head is pounding left eyebrow pulsing with pain. the words i spoke in anger changed the world before my eyes. maybe it was just my heart, but either way i cannot move from this sofa. i cannot hope to succeed. i cannot say with confidence, “life will soon be good.” i can hope. and that is what i do. i can moan, and i do that too. it just doesn’t make sense that in all of this, all this bustling about, there is no more reason for making choice A versus choice B. than there is from choosing Coke or Dr. Pepper. it’s all a matter of advertising and influence. some say it is an issue of taste, but we know that they are the ones responsible for marketing the good life.
i wish i could spoil you. cook you simple meals as best i can. see your teary smile as i propose cry my own tears as you hold our firstborn. i wait and anticipate the day you’ll be mine. every happy couple, every loving mother, every expression of love reminds me of you… of my hope for you. it is true that i hurt you. it is true that i do not deserve forgiveness. it is true that my actions display a wholly different sentiment. somewhere deep within, in the immeasurable soul and spirit, i long for you. i do not long for the cheap gratification of physical desire but, rather, for the realization of a reality i have already only glimpsed. it is a reality beyond my ability. i do not strive toward it, for i know failure lies waiting. instead, i wait. hoping, asking, dreaming, aching for the day to arrive… …when what i was made for, to melt into you, becomes the day my destiny is fulfilled.
if the end is the beginning why am i strewn out across your open palms? why am i lost in your sea? you capture me, and i am lost forever. i run to and fro, only to find the time has been wasted and kept us apart. don’t ask why. don’t ever wonder again. the opened eye tells all. we were meant to be together.
i do not take this cigarette and place it against my lips for no reason i’ve seen the sterile coffee shops restaurants and office buildings i’ve felt the suffocating cleanliness of a bright and cheery world this realm of “clarity” and activity brims with over-anxious sympathies artificial lights with nothing to penetrate it is the life that is a lie feigning decency deploring the darker shade of life i do not accept this smoke into my lungs except to maintain to preserve a sense of self not yet commercialized nor sold to the highest bidder to protect myself from the rays the drowning silence of nonsense to make it through the day participation is suicide it is the death of conviction, hope, and dream i do not want to be a quitter and surrender the one shield i have between self and senselessness.
(Photo courtesy of Wikipedia Commons)