I’ve never been a big fan of Valentine’s Day. I mean, I get the whole “used to be a pagan holiday” thing. Basically it was a tribute to one of their Pagan gods. The names of women would be put into a basket and they would be drawn by a teenage boy. It was sort of a dating/hook up lottery. Well obviously this did not go over well in the Christian church.
The church’s attempt to do away with it became a day associated with St. Valentine. He was beheaded by the Roman Emperor Claudius II , for performing marriages (Claudius had sort of banned them). Somehow the tradition of sending notes or offering notes to women men wanted to court in St Valentine’s name became the new tradition. I can get behind that. But I can’t get behind is what is has become.
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When my husband and I had been married for two years, a single girlfriend of mine (we’ll call her Macy) asked me a very personal question.
Macy’s personality was that of a desperate chameleon, a toxic mixture of trying to be what she thought the man she dated wanted her to be, and, approaching the age of twenty-five, feeling pressure to get married.
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I have never been one to dodge and weave when it comes to my feelings on dating, marriage, and the opposite sex altogether. While it might serve others to be a little more reserved or allusive, that’s just not my style. There is no need to keep the emotional “walls” when being totally open and upfront serves as something of a tool to weed out those that couldn’t handle my life experiences. At the age of 30, it is becoming more and more commonplace to find myself sitting across the table from a lady with a similar emotional background. Honestly, if you’re 30 and not married or divorced then you will probably fall into the minority in the dating scene.
Which leads me to my point: I have spent the last couple of years dating and finding myself in short-term relationships. I have met a lot of women through the more traditional means (i.e. through friends, family,work) as well as the “new traditional” means (match.com and other various internet sites). (more…)
Posted in books on 15. May, 2008
The Smart Girl's Breakup Buddy
I came across this book quite randomly at the library and picked it up because it had a cute cover and was written by the same guy who wrote “He’s Just Not That Into You”, and I really enjoyed that book. This book is about the entire process that occurs when you end a relationship. From the breakup itself to the bingeing, drinking, crying escapades that ensue afterward- this book covers it.
The book is written by Greg Behrendt and his wife, Amiira Ruotola-Behrendt, and is based very much on their experiences as well as the experiences of the anonymous people they use for anecdotes throughout the book. Many of the tales are funny, some are sad, and others are plain ridiculous. Whatever you are going through, there is a story in the book that can come close. There is always something to relate to. (more…)
Posted in dating on 15. Mar, 2007
I’m sitting at Panera Bread with Nathan Holman, wondering how to best help him find the right woman. Well, maybe I’m not so concerned about the right woman as he is. I just wanted to see if I could play a part in it. So I brainstormed (yes, this is what I do with my spare minutes), and came up with a killer idea.
Pick-Up lines are so last decade. It’s time for the pick-up line to step into the 21st Century. So here’s the plan:
Step 1: Pick out the woman in a cafe (take your time: find one suitable to your tastes)
Step 2: Make sure she’s not wearing a ring (that’s always a mood killer)
Step 3: Get your camera phone ready for a picture
Step 4: Plan your route to the restroom strategically for at least two strafing runs
Step 5: Take her picture
Step 6: Return to your laptop
Step 7: Write a blog about the most beautiful woman sitting in your cafe, how you asked her out on a date, she said yes, and they both lived happily ever after (the details here can be your own)
Step 8: Add the picture you took
Step 9: Post the blog with her photo
Step 10: Pick up your laptop
Step 11: Carry it over to her table
Step 12: Set it down gently in front of her
Step 13: Calmly take your seat across the table
Step 14: Smoothly swivel your laptop to face her
Step 15: Say to her, “Hi, I’m ____. I was wondering if you could make this come true”
Step 16: Get her number
See how easy that was?!?!?!? You stud, you. Rinse and repeat.
******Emergency Step 17***********
If she happens to look horrified that you took her picture without her consent and she makes a move to call the police to grab a random blunt object from her purse, grab your computer and run like hell!
Married life is good. Let me tell you, I never thought I would enjoy spending time with my wife as much as I do. I enjoy her company.
Simple things are what make life pleasant. Things like seeing her for lunch almost every day of the week. We enjoy most of the same tv shows (she’s not a Mavericks or Cowboys fan, for which I forgive her). She willingly and bravely suffers my movie addiction. I suffer her need to save money rather than spend (not so much a virtue on my part).
I’m not looking at the big picture right now. Honestly, the big picture seems to fluctuate so often, I’d rather live day to day. We don’t avoid planning or setting goals, we just keep a few extras close to hand because we know our tastes and preferences change over time.
God has blessed our marriage. I am blessed to be in covenant relationship with a beautiful woman who is ever increasing in playfulness and sense of humor. She’s better at several important things than I am, which makes her a valuable part of our family team.
She’s pulling up in the driveway for lunch. Life is good.
