The Pick Up Line Faces the MOOB DM
Posted on 12 August 2008 by Michael Callaway
If one needs proof that humanity is lost, the pick up line is exhibit A. Guys are in bars, guys want to meet women, the pick up line is the way to break the ice.
I have often pondered why women do not try the pick up line themselves? It would be so much more affective in your hands. I think I would be rather flattered if some strange girl came up and tried one. Here is the way I think you ladies could try it. A lady comes up to me and asks, “Are you demonic?”
Shocked and horrified I would say, “No, no I am not!”
To which she would be able to reply, “Too bad... because you are one handsome devil.”
This has never happened to me in my life and probably never will, but if it did, that would be awesome! Ladies, feel free to use this line next time you are in bar or a club, I guarantee it will surprise unlike anything we could ever come up with.
This is all just part of the mystery that shows how different men and women are. If you opened a bar and let all kinds of men come in for free and only charged the ladies a cover charge, you would go broke. This is a good maxim to live by, if men are there, chances are women will not go, if women are there, chances are you will have to keep men out.
Why can’t someone just go up to someone else and say, “Hello, my name is…” and go from there? Why do I need to know if it hurt, falling from heaven? Do I care if you daddy is a baker? Is it polite to ask if you father is thief? The answer is no, no it is not. Now, many will go and blame men for this stupidity and to be sure we deserve most of the blame. However, you ladies deserve some blame too, if your people would ignore stupid men, stupid men would either change or go extinct.
If the Maternal Order of Bar Drinking Maidens (MOOB MD) all came together as a group and said no, we shall not accept this symbol of the idiot male we would be one step closer to a better world. I say one step closer because there would be other idiot behavior; however, a journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. This could be that one step, but alas, it will not happen.
You see, while MOOB MD is powerful, it is not powerful enough. There is a girl, maybe it is you, maybe it is your friend, who will say yes, yes I always do wake up this beautiful, no my feet have not got tired running around in your mind, and do you really think my outfit would look great on your floor?
All it takes is one girl to say yes to a stupid line to encourage thousands. It is the same reason people buy lottery tickets, while millions will lose, someone will win and everyone believes that they will be that someone. So, be prepared to say that you are not from Tennessee, even though you are the only Ten I See.
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