Vote for Bob: Meet the Press
Posted on 04 March 2008 by Michael Callaway
Voice Over: This Sunday our meet the candidates special continues, he is running as an independent candidate for the President of the United States, and is running the most unorthodox campaign to date. Today we are talking with Bob, independent candidate for President.
Tim Russert: Thank-you for joining us today.
Bob: Thank-you for having me, I am really looking forward to spreading my message to all your viewers.
Tim Russert: Now, you have said that you want to run a different kind of campaign, one that is positive, one that uses the language of the people. Yet on your website VoteForBob.com you are constantly referring people to another site, AllOfBob’sOppentsAreWrong.com. Is that not negative campaigning?
Bob: No Tim it is not running a negative campaign. I am telling people why they SHOULD vote for me, however, I know that there are some people who want to know why they SHOULD NOT vote for others. I am not telling them what to do. I am simply providing them a way to get that kind of information if they feel that is what they need.
Tim: Let us show our viewers some of the headlines that are on AllOfBob’sOppentsAreWrong.com. “Mike Huckabee lets the air out of tires of old ladies while Governor of Arkansas”, “Hillary plans to legally change her first name to Billary”, “Barak Obama and John McCain plan a secret alliance to vote out Mitt Romney”.
Bob: Those things are all terrible and sad to say, they are all true. I am sure if they were not true they would not be on the Internet. I mean, Mike Huckabee letting air out of old ladies tires while they are shopping at the mall? That is just awful, why not come after me, let the air out of my tires, I can take it, I’m a man!!!
Tim: But there is no proof to back any of the stories that are on this website. In fact, most people would claim that this is another example of dirty tricks that you have said that you want to end.
Bob: It would only be a dirty trick if it were untrue and if it came from my campaign. None of these stories have come from VoteForBob.com. If the story is wrong contact the people who wrote the story.
Tim: We did some checking, your website, was bought from a web domain company on January 30th at 8:00 in the morning. At 8:15 AllOfBob’sOppentsAreWrong.com was bought from the same company. Are you saying that you have nothing to do with that site?
Bob: I did not know you could check for that. But yes, me and my staff have nothing to do with that site. Maybe a super excited supporter went and bought the rights, I do not know. However, let me make one thing perfectly clear. I did not, buy that website, AllOfBob’sOppentsAreWrong.com.
Tim: Your campaign is also facing many legal lawsuits for copy right infringement and trade mark violations. Your slogans, “What Can Bob Do for You?”, “Bob, I’m Loving It”, “Bob, the Choice of a New Generation”, these are all trade mark slogans that you have used without permission.
Bob: That is absolutely absurd. There is no company in the world called Bob that uses a slogan that comes close to those three. I resent that comment and you should apologize for the mean spirited way in which you asked it in the first place.
Tim: UPS, what can brown do for you. McDonalds I’m loving it. Pepsi, the choice of a new generation. Don’t these trade marks sound exactly like your slogans?
Bob: Oh, well yes, I see how you might think that they are similar, however, they really are not. You see, everyone else is sitting and waiting to decide what they are going to do for the people. Bob is out there asking the questions, what can Bob do for you? I want to know, what you’re thinking, tell me what is on your mind. When the people hear this, they respond with joy and have been saying, Bob, I am truly loving this. These two facts have led the voters to a new choice for a new generation who wants new things. If this sounds like the trade marks of UPS, McDonald’s and Pepsi who’s fault is that?
Tim: These are serious allegations, you could be sued and it could cost you everything.
Bob: Tim, we can keep going around this. The people want something more. We can dance if you want too, we can leave your friends behind. Because your friends don’t dance and if they don’t dance well they aint no friends of mine.
Tim: The war in Iraq, the war in Afghanistan, the economy. These are all serious issues that people will want to know what your plan is. You have not given them anything that would tell them how you would fix those issues.
Bob: Tim, the people need to know, they have a right to know what my plan is. These issues are complex, there is no one simple answer. I wish I had the magic bullet that would get rid of terrorism, the housing crises and any other issue that would come up. But it does not work that way, my approach would be the same approach that I had when I led in the past. I looked at the information, looked at the options and made the best choice from the information that I had.
Tim: People also have concerns with your slogan, “Been There, Done That”. They want to know, when were you there and what did you do?
Bob: Tim, that is an awfully difficult question to answer. How do I sum up a life’s worth of work into a one hour show? Know this, while we did not start the fire, it has always been burning since the world has been turning, we did not start the fire, but while we did not light it, we will try to fight it! That is how I will do that.
Tim: These are all slogans from commercial products, quotes from songs and TV. You have offered no reason why anyone should vote for you. Look at the results form the latest NBC News Poll when we asked if they believed Bob was capable of being President. 85% of men and 95% of women said that did not feel like you could be President.
Bob: Now that is unfortunate. I was really hoping that those numbers would be higher, especially among women. I really was counting on the independent woman to support me. All of this has left me asking, what happened to Mrs. Independent?
Tim: Most of them have said that your message seems to have no depth and no substance.
Bob: Let me tell you, these attacks hurt, they hurt badly. Now a lot of people might hear them and say that they want to give up. Not me, in fact, I am glad, I am glad to be attacked, it will make me want to thank them for making me a fighter. It will make me that much stronger, make my skin a little bit thicker, make me that much wiser, so thanks for making me a fighter. And fight on Bob will.
Tim: Again, these are quotes from songs, the voters want to know, when were you there and how did you do that? If you can not answer that question you will not see any improvement in these numbers. So I will ask you again to answer the question.
Bob: Tim, I am sure that when you interviewed for this job you could not tell them every possible way that you were qualified to do what you do. I am sure that NBC did not ask such personal, mean spirited, negative questions to decide if you were fit to be the moderator, yet, people think that I can answer that question. Did you have to go through this to get your job?
Tim: Yes I did, NBC looked at tape from previous jobs went through hours of interviews and they checked my school records. It was not an easy process at all.
Bob: Oh, I was kind of hoping that you would agree with me. Um, at this point it would really help if you could have that camera point off to some pretty palm tree while I pick up my things and run away. I think I am done here.
Tim: Well, that is our program, join us next week as we have a real candidate, if it is Sunday, it is Meet The Press.
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