Vote for Bob: The Announcement
Posted on 19 February 2008 by Michael Callaway
Hello, my name is Bob, and I want to the next President. Now, I know a lot of you will be asking, who is Bob? Bob is going tell you who he is; he is also going to explain why you do not, nay why you can not vote for the any other candidate running for President. To quote from the movie, Grease, “Bob is the one that you want, he is the one one, ooh ooh ooh, honey, the one you need, oh yes indeed.”
Bob is going to run a clean campaign. He is going to run a campaign based on truth and on values. I could stand up here and tell you how all my opponents are corrupt, self-centered, and incompetent. While that would all be true, I will not lower myself to that level of low and say that because it is low. If you need more confirmation of how corrupt, how self-centered, and how incompetent my opponents are, all you need to do is go to independent sources such as CNN.com, NBC.com, and AllofBobsOpponentsareWrong.com. These websites have nothing to do with me and will clearly tell you how wrong for America my opponents are, especially the third site.
I also could quote from AC/DC and talk about all their “dirty deeds done dirt cheep” but I would rather quote from the philosopher, Joseph Dirt. “Life is a garden, you need to dig it.” Bob can dig it and that is what he wants to do when he becomes President, dig it good.
Candidates will talk above you, below you or around you. I... I will talk to you. Some people will criticize me for using the language of pop culture and say that I am not authentic, that I am not real. However, pop culture is the language of the people and Bob is a man of the people. I will never use words like global paradigm, button up versus top down approach or key learning’s. I think Meat Loaf said it best, “I would do anything for love, I would go to hell and back. I would do anything for love, I will not lie to you and that is a fact. I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that.”
When Bob makes a promise, you can believe he will come through. My slogan is, “Been There, Done That” and you can believe it. Remember on the show Seinfeld when Jerry was renting a car and he said, “Anyone can take a reservation that is easy, now holding the reservation that is what is important.” Same with political promises, anyone can make a promise, Bob can deliver, because I have been there, and I have done that, and I have the T shirt.
So my fellow Americans I may break tradition, and sometimes my tries, will be outside the lines. You see, we have all been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can not live that way. We are all staring, at blank page before us, open up the dirty window, let the sun illuminate the words that you can not find. Reaching, somewhere in the distance, so close you can almost taste it, release you inhibition and feel the rain on your skin. No one else can feel it for you, only you can let it in. No one else can speak the words that are on your lips. Treat yourself to words unspoken, live your life with arms wide open, today is, where your book begins. The rest is still unwritten.
Popularity: 1% [?]
February 19th, 2008 at 2:46 pm
I have a feeling that this is full of humorous double entendres that are going right over my head. Maybe it’s my recent lack of sleep, but I just don’t get it.
February 19th, 2008 at 8:02 pm
In order to really get this I want you to imagine a Will Ferrell voice behind Bob.
February 20th, 2008 at 9:21 am
Gotcha…ok
February 20th, 2008 at 8:54 pm
The two most Bob like politicans in my opinion are Mitt Romney and John Edwards, they had great things to say, like Washington is broke and that it needs an outsider to fix it or that there are Neocons out there keeping the poor people poor and that they need to be destroyed. The outsider argument is pure Bob, almost every single President since 1960 has been an outsider. George W Bush was an outsider, Bill Clinton was an outsider, Ronald Reagan was an outsider, Jimmy Carter was an outsider, and Richard Nixon (in 1968) was also an outsider. I think you get the point, being an outsider is not that rare in American politics. The only Washington insiders that have been elected President since 1960 are JFK, LBJ and George H. W. Bush.
John Edwards is also pure Bob, to hear him speak you would think that all the worlds’ problems can be attributed to three groups. These guilty parties are the oil companies, pharmaceutical companies, and of course the Neocons. Edwards lacked any solutions to deal with our energy needs or the rising cost of health care. The price of oil is not controlled by Exxon’s greed but rather by supply and demand. Health care reform is going to require change in paten law use, the way patients pay of health care and reform in the insurance industry. There is no way that John Edwards demonizing of these groups was ever going to get anything done.
Of the four remaining running for President none of them are as Bob as these two are. In reality I should say final five running for President, but when you only have sixteen more delegates then me, I do not count you as a person running for President. John McCain is the least Bob like of all of them, while you may not agree with everything that he says, you know where he stands. Now, the one area you could accuse McCain of being a Bob is how he turned and supported the Bush tax cuts that he had opposed, I guess no one can be perfect.
Mike Huckabee is someone I like a lot; I like the fact that he has been able to run a campaign without spending the millions like the other’s have. I thought it was funny to hear Bill Clinton say that Hillary was running on a shoestring budget, she raised over 100 million dollars, that is one heck of a shoestring. Huckabee has run a positive campaign and has done well. However, Huckabee has a little Bob in him too, when he produced a negative add about Mitt Romney and then decided to pull the commercial that was great. When he showed the press the commercial to show them how negative it was and why he had to pull it, that was Bob.
Barak Obama has run the most hopeful and optimistic campaign in 28 years. I think I know what Democrats in the 1980’s must have felt like; they disagreed with Reagan and yet found that they liked him. While I disagree with Obama more then any of the candidates, I find that I like him and would be proud to have him as President. However, Barak Obama has a lot of Bob in him too, I am not sure how he is going to accomplish all the goals that he has set out, but I have heard him say, yes we can over and over.
Hillary Clinton has overcome more negative attacks against her then any candidate and I am glad to see that she has done well in the 2008. However, Clinton really does have a lot of Bob in her. I think if you are voting for her hoping that she will end the war you will be disappointed. I believe that we will still have a large presence in Iraq even if she is President, remember, Richard Nixon ran on a promise to end the war in Vietnam in 1968 and then again in 1972. It is my humble opinion that Mrs. Clinton is just telling you what you want to hear.