Vote for Bob: The Speech

Posted on 26 February 2008 by Michael Callaway

"Thank-you!  Thank-you everyone!  My name is Bob and I want to be the next President of the United States of America!
 
"Let us look at the name Bob, it does not matter if you write it backwards, you still get Bob.  It does not matter if you take the last letter and switch it with the first letter, you still get Bob.  It does not matter if you turn it upside down, make it backwards and look in a mirror…you still get Bob.  Take it, flip it up in the air, shake it, mix it all around, you will still get Bob!!
 
"Bob is ready to do something that no candidate, Republican or Democrat can do and that is change the way we talk about politics.  Bob will make this change by using the language of the people!  A storm of change is brewing, brewing all across this land, with Bob, the storm has turned into a full blown hurricane.  Here I am, rock you like a hurricane!
 
"I bring more then just change, I bring resolve, resolve to stand up for the things that are right.  I won’t back down, no I won’t back down, you could stand me up at the gates of hell but I won’t back down.  Because, I can be your hero baby, I can kiss away the pain, I will stand by you forever, you can take my breath away.
 
"The people need this kind of hero, they long for this kind of hero.  They are all out there, knowing that somewhere, out there, love can see us through, then we will be together, somewhere out there, where dreams do come true.  Because when you wish upon a star, it makes no difference who you are.  This is the hero that the people are wishing, and hoping, and thinking and praying, planning and dreaming each night wanting him to be in their arms.
 
"You know, when you are out here, running for President, you meet a lot of people.  People who touch you and make you realize why you are in this in the first place.  While I was out in Tennessee I meet a man named Jed.  Let me tell you about Jed, he is a poor mountaineer barely keeping his family fed.  Jed needs me out there, and you know what, I need Jed.  I need Jed because he, and every single one of you, completes me.  I do not care who you are, where you are from, what you did, as long as you love me!
 
"Help me help you.  That is right, help me help you!  Life is a highway, and I want to drive it all night long.  If you are going my way, I want to ride it all night long.  Because what I really want to know is, are you going to go my way?  Babe, I got to know!
 
"For too long Washington has been run by people who do not care what you and I the people have to say.  For too long they have been content to ignore us, to put Baby in the corner.  Well let me tell you something right here, right now!  Nobody, and I mean nobody puts Baby in the corner, nobody!!!
 
"And for too long Washington has made no sense, it has been pure crazy talk out of those people.  Let me describe for you the crazy.  Suppose I were to ask any of the lovely ladies here the following question.  If somebody told me, that you had a boyfriend that looked like a girlfriend, that I had in February of last year.  What did my girlfriend look like?  What does your boyfriend look like?  That level of crazy, that is what is going on in Washington, it blows your mind away.
 
"Whenever you are running a campaign of change you will always get people who feel threatened by it.  While out on the trail I had someone from one of the major campaigns actually come up to me and say, “Do you know where you are?  You’re in the jungle babe, you’re goanna die!”  That was how they welcomed me to the jungle.  Well, I am not afraid of the jungle; I am like George, George of the jungle.  I am strong as I can be!  However, I do realize that there is danger, and that is why I will always be watching out for that tree!
 
"A beacon of hope, a warm place in a cold world, that is Bob.  A light of truth, a comforting fire, that is Bob.  Because while the weather outside may be frightful, the fire is so delightful, that is Bob.  I offer to you this one simple question.  Deal, or no deal?
 
"Because Bob has been there, and Bob has done that!  Bob will end all that worries you and will fix all that needs fixing.  Bob can get it done and Bob will get it done.  Look into my eyes, can’t you see that they are opened wide, would I lie to you babe would I lie to you?  Would I tell you something that was not true, I am asking you sugar would I lie to you?  When I am President and I have fixed all the world’s problems I will be able stand confidently and say, “I love it when a plan comes together”!  Goodnight!"

Popularity: 3% [?]

Related Posts

• One Canadian’s Perspective on the US Presidential Election
• Is Palin Ready for Office?
• Republicrats in the Presidential Debate
• An Independent’s Perspective on Voting
• My Tax Reform
• Political Pet Peeves
• The European View of the United States
• Surprise VP Pick for McCain
• Sarah Palin “Shocked” Open Thread
• Give Obama a Chance on Thursday